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*** #4- Atlantis-Rise of the rebellion, @Yanzieyy

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User- @yanzieyy

Title- Atlantis: Rise of the Rebellion

Genre- Fantasy

Link --------->

Cover-For the cover, I love it! It has a nice, duocolored, fire-like tone. This must be a very important symbol for your characters in the book, right? The name "Atlantia: Rise of the Rebellion" stands out on the cover-you can easily see it. I can also see the author's name. One thing I will most certainly mention are the little gold words "A fantasy story...." and "You thought you knew....". Maybe you wanted them a little hidden. But if that was not your intention, maybe quickly ask your cover-maker for a quick edit-make those words a bit bigger.

Title-Again, I've only read the first chapter, and this review is based off of that, BUT, from what I can get from the title, this rebellion is going to rise really soon. The only point I have right there is the [unedited] part? Miiiight want to include that in the blurb. I understand that you want to let your readers know that this is not edited. But, some people who would have otherwise really enjoyed your story may be repelled because of this. Otherwise, the title is really mystical and hooking!

Blurb-Short, sweet, simple. I feel like this is a great blurb for your story. You summarize what I have seen happening in the story so far really well-which is great! Not only in the first two chapters do we get background, we also get everything that's in the blurb; which means that there's plenty left for the reader to explore!

Again, my criticizing mind cannot help but mention this, but when you say "Following his bid for power," maybe add a few words such as fearsome and deadly? It just increases the stakes a little bit. You do add the word "exalted", but D E A D L Y just hits differently.

Characters-So far, the mystery man in the prologue (I read both the prologue and the 1st chapter), I don't think his name has been revealed yet. But it's obvious he's been through hardships and troubles to be the sacrifice that saves his kingdom from tyranny. He's a hero, very capable, and perhaps even sacrifices himself. Could you describe him a little more? However you perceive him (I think of him as having a few scars)? David, however, his character I really find believable. He lost his familys somehow, and he occasionally has flashbacks. He's good at playing basketball, he has friends. He's not some outcast loner or some super perfect person. He has a personality! That's great! 

Plot-So far, I assume the plot is going to be exciting! I've reached the part where David is sucked into a different world, and I'm already excited! You do a good job of building up suspense, and making the reader wonder what is next.

Setting-You have not elaborated much on settings so far. A simple city, an island, a cave, sure. But there isn't much detail on what they look like. Seeing as the story is set in Atlantia, I certainly hope you elaborate more on how Atlantia looks. Remember that Dvaid would be seeing this alternate world for the first time-convey it through his eyes. Run through all the detail as if you're imagining it for the first time.  

Other Notes-As for grammar, your story does well! I can certainly understand everything that's happening. There are occasional comma splices and slight misplacement of words, but nothing that is too drastic that you can't fix as you go back. A lot of your readers have mentioned these!Overall, this story seems to be a good beginning for an exciting fantasy! The aesthetics and covers are amazing-looking, the plot is quickly starting to speed up, the characters are ones that I'd like to tag along with, and I'm excited to read more! Keep up the good work, author!