Turtle Rock Review Shop

~~~#8- The Boy Made of String, @RowanCarver

Here's your review, and I hope it helps! I tried my best to incorporate as much detail as I could, but if you would like me to elaborate on anything else, go ahead and ask me! I'll take another look :D

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User- @RowanCarver

Book- The Boy Made of String

Genre- Dark/Fantasy Fiction

Link to the book --------------->

Cover- You should note that I don't even open the book before I write about my first impressions of your cover, title, and blurb, so here goes. 

I noticed in your blurb that your story is Tim-Burton-inspired, but I'm not really feeling that with this cover. Instead, I'm getting more of 'Frankenstein' vibes. I also see that your book is tagged with 'gothic-horror,' so maybe that's the vibe you're going for?

This is just my personal opinion, so you don't have to take it into account, but I think preying on the 'spider' allusion from the hook part of your blurb would be really cool on your cover. I could totally see the cover having some dope typography that has spiderwebs worked between. 

Title- Damn! That analogy comparing the creator of the boy to a spider kind of explains a lot about the title. I like the fact that you play on the opening line of the blurb, or the 'pitch line,' to give us a sense of imagery. The boy is like one out of a series of spiderwebs that the woman keeps creating in an attempt to please the Way King. Well done! I couldn't have thought of a better title myself!

Blurb- A few words stuck in my brain while I was reading, like 'impermanence' and 'gods' in the same sentence. It's a bit of irony, isn't it? We always associate the children of Gods living forever, but impermanence is like a direct oxymoron. 

However, I will say that you have a lot going on in the first paragraph of the blurb. There are three main 'names,' or phrases, that you drop that might be a tad bit confusing to the reader, and I'll explain why. 

'Workshop of the Giantess,' 'Children of the Gods,' and 'Way King' are all used in the first paragraph. Because all of these terms are so specific for your story, I would advise against keeping them in the blurb. Remember—the point of a blurb is to attract readers and give them an intriguing summary of your story without revealing too much. 

I feel like maybe you can replace the workshop bit with a kind of geographical description of the setting, kind of like how someone would describe Heaven or Olympus. At least, that's how I pictured the setting as I read the blurb. 

To let the readers have a better connection to what the story is about, maybe you can also describe the Way King? 

Something like: "...presence of the Way King, [a ruler with a penchant for violence]. The ones..." 

I know the example was kinda weird, but do you get my drift?

I could go on and on over-analyzing your blurb (I've had more than a few cookies today), but this is the last thing, I promise! I really enjoyed the 'stone clashes against iron' line in the description. You carefully employ the 'rule of threes,' and it sounds artsy and tasteful. Well done!

Characters- Wow... just... I'm kinda speechless! You do a really good job with characterization, and I'm going to try and pinpoint some of the highlights and the things you can improve on. 

The way that you describe the Faceless Woman learning about things is almost poetic, the 'this is what it's like to feel ____' is easy for the reader to follow along with. That parallel structure is what I live for! And the way you encapsulate it with simple feelings of warmth and coldness? Chef's kiss!

When I walked into this book, I didn't expect for the Faceless Woman to be innocent. I honestly thought that the story was going to be about the boy, since he was talked about a bit more in the blurb, but I think this is truly a pleasant surprise. 

You have really good descriptions of the Spinster. I was able to picture everything that you described her to look as/that she was doing. I like the detail toward the ending of the chapter about the Spinster holding up the 'Jacob's Ladder' to the Faceless Woman, but she was unable to see it. 

However... what's a 'Jacob's Ladder?' I found myself curious, so I Googled it, but all I found was a movie from the 90s and an exercise machine, and I doubt it's either of those things. Then again, it may be a reference I'm too young to understand?

The line about 'begging before the Way King' makes me wonder why the Spinstress said so. (BTW, this is just my own curiosity, not something you should add in to the chapter) I'm curious to learn and find out more about why his punishment is so bad. It must be more than death... torture? Eternal misery and suffering?

The fact that Faceless Woman is not allowed to name the 'child' is understandable. Naming things gives a person a sense of attachment. The way the Spinstress explains the Way King killing process gives it a heartless tone. She's definitely desensitized to it, which begs the question of how long has this been going on?

Setting- So, based on the first chapter, we have a set-up for a setting. We are in the Tomb of the Inanimate, and your descriptions provide us with everything we need to know. However, in some places, I was a bit confused. Let me elaborate. 

So, the part where you describe the tomb and the yellow paint is a bit hard for me to visualize. I'm not sure if it's because you didn't include enough description there or if it's me. The way I pictured it is... okay, this is gonna sound childish, but bear with me for a moment.

If you've ever seen the Emperor's New Groove, and if you remember the throne that Cuzco sits atop with all the stairs leading up, that's how I pictured this, except in a Tim Burton art style. I can't see where the yellow paint plays in. 

Plot- You made this very clear from the beginning, and I love that about the story. A lot of people tend to dilly-dally around the idea that they have without hitting it on the mark. You came into this book with a purpose, and you were clear in the execution. 

If someone asked me to describe the plot I've picked up on the book so far, I'd be able to tell them that it's about a newly-born spiritual being who has to create a doll to fight for her place to be free. 

You have clear stakes and a good sense of action. No wonder you called my chapter out on not having high stakes! You keep the suspense real in your story, and I'm not saying that to butter you up.

Other notes- Wow, a fellow advocate for great graphics to help set the tone for a book! Your images and graphics at the beginning set the mood that the reader is supposed to feel. Instead of picturing the book as a real-time exchange between real people, I imagined the characters like they were made of clay. 

Writing the whole chapter (I assume, the whole book) in present tense helps the reader pick up on the suspenseful feel. This was a good choice on your part. 

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Your book was genuinely a pleasure to review. Dare I even say that this is the best review I've written! You're always welcomed back to this review shop, so thank you so much for letting me have the pleasure of reviewing your first chapter!