I don't really know what the title of your book is, so I just used the one that you filled out your form with. Here's your review!
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User- @9Worlds
Book- Intersecting Parallels/Sum of Forces
Genre- Short Story
Link to the book --------------->
Cover-Your cover is bright, appealing, and exciting. It is beautifully illustrated and exciting, and grasps a reader well. Since this is a first chapter judging book, I don't know if it has a connection with the story or not. I did read the first chapter, and it's-powerful to say the least.
The cover doesn't really communicate that very well. You may want to make it a bit more similar to what your story is. Otherwise, readers who would absolutely love your work (as I did), may skip past it, thinking it as some sort of light story. It isn't, and intensity and hard work should not be passed by just because of a cover. This is just something to keep in mind though. Maybe I'm just rambling, because maybe the cover fits one of your short stories! In that case, please ignore this entire second paragraph!
Title-Having studied physics in my free time, I know Sum of the Forces. "All the forces that act on an object". This title, for someone who knows what it means, is definitely a great descriptor to your story. Why do I think this? I think that it's a great title because from what i can tell even from your first chapter, this story is a lot about chance, and a lot about figurative language and society. These are many different "forces" of sorts, acting upon your story! At least, I hope that's what you meant.
Sum of the Forces could also be a title for a Fantasy Book.One thing I can add to this is maybe put in a subtitle? A subtitle, I think, would not only make the title seem less alone, but it also is a good description for your book without even forcing the reader to check out the blurb! Something like "A Collection of Short Stories", or if you have a genre "Horror Drabbles" or something very purposeful like "Snippets of Society". Just a suggestion! Otherwise, I think the title is very apt!
Blurb-The blurb is short and sweet! Many readers love it like that! I do too, I really enjoy a short and sweet blurb. However, this story in particular may require a slightly longer one. Your blurb is straightforward, it tells the reader exactly what they need to know. Some readers, however, need to be coerced into reading something. That's where long blurb writing comes in handy!For the first sentence, you may want to reword it.
For example, where you say " A short story anthology, from science fiction tidbits to contemporary literature..." maybe make that a single sentence, like "A masterful anthology of short stories, ranging from hooking science fiction drabbles to periodic contemporary literature." Again, this is just an example. See how there were some adjectives included in there? Readers love adjectives, sometimes unconsciously. For your second line, where you say "....featuring a cast of characters, leading normal lives and getting roped into twisted plots...." again! Make that a single sentence! Something like "In these stories lie unassuming characters, roped into twisted worlds and suspenseful plots...." Otherwise, I think your blurb is great!
Characters-God, I feel terrible for that boy. But, then I don't. I think that, maybe even without knowing, you made your reader conflicted, because we truly want to feel terrible for the boy (I mean, he dies, our own brains would call us weirdos if we didn't), but then again-he was lying, and common society...doesn't support lying.
I like how through his actions and somewhat inner thought, you gave us a description of this boy. Somewhat greedy, determined, and quite rash. This first chapter is a quick one, something I regret in this section, and in the future, you might want to include some more of these; actions and inner thought even if they don't have to be lengthy character descriptions-just to help us get to know the character whom you'll kill off.
Setting-Well, I actually don't have much to say here, since I couldn't sense much of a setting actually, but I know that in this particular chapter it wasn't very necessary, so I don't have much to suggest here!Plot-Okay, here is where I really admire you, because you fit in such a thick and tension-filled plot in such a small amount of space, and I really love that! First of all, you use descriptions and actions to your side for sure, because every time you say a word, the tense atmosphere somehow builds!
As they say "And the plot thickens"....Right in the middle of the story, where the sharks catch up, maybe, just to build up on the suspense a little bit, a paragraph could have been added about him just running, looking behind and running. I think that would really keep the reader on the edge of their seats! Nonetheless, the story idea and plot for this first chapter was amazing!
Other Details-For your first chapter, it's a great first chapter! It's filled with intrigue and excitement, and any reader wants to continue reading it! Occasionally, there are parts where the grammar could be fixed, but they are minor errors, and don't disrupt the reading flow at all! This was one of the best short story books that I've ever read, and I really appreciate you giving me the time to review it! Thank you!
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