Turtle Rock Review Shop

~~~#5- Ramayan: Untold Romance, @lakshmila4ardi

Hola! Here is your review of chapters 17, 18, and 19. I would make a math joke about '7, 8, 9,' but I think you've probably heard it a million times hahaha. Also, sorry it's a bit late! I have my Spanish exams all week, and I've been trying to read and watch everything in Spanish. Without further delay, here it is:

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User- @lakshmila4ardi 

Book- Ramayan: Untold Romance

Genre- Historical Fiction

Link to the book --------------->

Cover- I think the cover suits the book well, but I have a few gripes over it. The picture is of Ram and Sita, right? I only assumed this because they're the main couple of the Ramayan (and the best, but that's just my opinion). One thing I would advise you to change is probably the font/the title on the cover itself. Both the cover and the book have two different names, and this could make it a bit confusing for someone trying to find a book. 

With the font, it's a little faint and hard to read. Is it possible to make it bold? Also, why is the picture so small? I would advise utilizing all of the space given on the cover to ensure that the reader is curious enough to click on your book. 

Title- The title is perfect for what you're going for. It tells the reader everything they need to know about the book before opening it. However, if you want to include that it's a fic of the Ramayan, you should totally add it to your blurb! 

Characters- Can I just mention... they're all adorable! I've never actually read the Ramayana, so I'm not exactly sure how the characters were in the original epic (however, I assume they're portrayed the same as most historical pieces during the time). 

You do a good job of delving into the characters and wasting no time with introductions. Although... there are some cons to this as well. Because you do not introduce the characters, people unfamiliar or hazy with the Ramayana may not fully understand who/what you're talking about. However, I assume that most of your readers are familiar with the epic because it's what your book is based on!

One thing I did notice is that you mentioned some famous painters... but they wouldn't have existed during the time period of the Ramayana. Is the book set in the present-day?

Setting- I really pick up on where the story is set through the sensory details about the clothing. I like that you described Sita (my favorite person in the story) and her peach lehenga so well! 

Plot- Since there were multiple plots, I will just talk about one of them—chapters 17 and 18. I enjoyed the fact that the two chapters formed a cohesive story that was cute and an easy read. It didn't require a lot of concentration, and it was laid back.

Other comments- There are quite a few errors in your book that impede the comprehensibility of the work. I would advise going through and doing a really thorough edit. However, I know that editing is stressful, so you can try hiring an editor. 

I know there are many great editing shops out there, and if you're looking for a book on editing tips, try heading over to LynaForge's manuscript book review. She has quite a few chapters that serve well for editing books, and they've helped me tremendously. If you would like, I could link the book over here for you? Let me know, and I'll be glad to do so. 

Because I'm a (half) Indian who's not from India, I don't know too much about historical pieces like the Ramayana, but I've done quite a bit of research for your book specifically, actually! There's a really great crash course video over the Ramayana which helped me to piece together the characters before I even started reading your book. 

So... for the dialogue between Laksh and Bharat, I noticed that you used the typical 'text conversation' format, where you put the speaker's name and then a dash, followed by their dialogue. Since, overall, your story seems to be face-to-face interaction, avoid doing this. Instead, use dialogue tags like 'said, asked,' and 'exclaimed.' 

It also couldn't hurt to add in some body language, since that's one of the main ways a reader is able to pick up on how a character is. Putting dialogue tags is not necessary, but it helps you be able to describe the characters, but also doesn't give the reader a sense of whiplash when reading. 

Like I mentioned before, editing is everything! Being able to edit your story will really bring it together and freshen up some slight misconceptions that could present themselves. 

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Thank you again for submitting to Turtle Rock Review Shop! I really hope I helped you to be able to identify some of the things that readers enjoy in your story, as well as things to improve on. If you ever need any help in the future, please reach out to me! Have a great day!