Crowded Room

12. Feelings

Shawn reached his hand and took a slice of the pizza on the center table, taking a bite as Niall complained about being beaten on the game they were playing for the fifth time that night. They both rested their controllers on the carpet as Joe walked out of one of the rooms.

 “ I don’t even know why you still try.” Shawn says to his best friend. “ You suck at this.”

 “ You really do, man.” Joe says, laughing at Niall, who rolls his eyes.

 Shawn laughs and checks his phone while taking another slice of pizza. He was kind of expecting to see at least a text from Camila, but there was nothing. They got used to texting each other everyday, but they hadn’t talked in two days and that was bothering him. He wanted to text her, but he was scared he had crossed a line with her the last time they saw each other. He was so close to just say ‘fuck it’ to everything and kiss her that day on Central Park, but now he can’t help but feel like he made her uncomfortable. It was driving him insane because he never cared that much about stuff like this, but since they started getting close all he did was overthink his next move around her.

 “ Can you get that for me?” Joe yells from the small kitchen in his and Niall’s apartment. “ It’s probably Taylor.”

 “ I’ll get it.” Niall says, standing up and walking to the front door.

 Taylor walks in with a plastic bag on her hands, smiling at them.

 “ Cookies baked by myself because I love you guys.” She sings, entering the kitchen and kissing Joe, who’s washing the dishes.

 “ Are you sure we can eat those?” Niall teases her because she’s always trying to bake desserts that don’t usually come out as they should.

 “ Well, I guess no cookies for you then.” Taylor rolls her eyes as Niall laughs at her.

 Niall walks into the kitchen to look at the cookies while Taylor talks to her boyfriend, no one noticing at first how quiet Shawn is, just looking at his phone in thought. He stares at his last text to Camila, wishing her goodnight from three days ago and sighs. When he lifts his eyes from his phone, Taylor is watching him.

 “ You okay?” The blonde asks him with a worried expression.

 “ Yeah, I’m great.” Shawn smiles at her.

 “ You’re too quiet.” She observes, but he doesn’t say anything else.

 When Joe and Taylor walk into his bedroom, Niall sits back down on the carpet next to Shawn like he wants to ask him something, but is not sure how. He saw Taylor giving Niall a look before she walked into Joe’s room, so that’s probably what this is about.

 “ So, have you seen Camila lately?” Niall asks, trying to be subtle.

 “ Is that what Taylor wanted you to ask me?” Shawn chuckles.

 “ We’re all just curious.” Niall defends himself. “ You’ve been spending a lot of time together.”

 “ Just because Taylor made sure I was the one to work with her for the musical.” Shawn tells him.

 “ Is that really why, though? Hailee told me you two spent the whole day together last Saturday.”

 “ Of course she told you.” Shawn laughs. “ Are you two dating already?”

 “ I’m taking her on a date this week, but that’s not the point.” Niall says. “ The point is, I haven’t seen you with another girl since you met Camila, and that to me says a lot.”

 Shawn’s phone vibrates and he sees a text from Camila, a smile forming on his lips almost immediately. He texts her back and when he looks up, Niall is looking at him.

 “ What?” Shawn asks.

 “ Your face just totally changed the second she texted you.” He laughs. “ Just admit it already, man.”

 Shawn sighs and closes his eyes, running his hands through his hair.

 “ I don’t know what’s happening, okay?” He groans in frustration.

 “ What do you mean?” Niall asks.

 “ What I mean is that this girl is driving me crazy!” Shawn decides the best thing is to talk to someone about this and Niall is a better option than Taylor, who would just push him to make a move on Camila already.

 “ So we were right. There’s something going on.”

 “ No, that’s the thing. There’s nothing going on.” Shawn explains. “ I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. She’s stuck in my head and I can’t seem to stay away from her. This never happened before.”

 “ You’re telling me you didn’t have sex with her?” Shawn nods his head and Niall raises his eyebrow. “ Shit! This girl got you good.”

 “ I haven’t even kissed her. I don’t even know if I should.”

 “ Stop torturing yourself, man.” Niall says. “ If you want her, just make a move. If you don’t, then find another girl and get over it.”

 “ I already tried that.” Shawn groans. “ And now I’m feeling guilty because I wanted it to be her instead. That’s why I don’t do this whole ‘feelings’ bullshit! How do people deal with it?”

 “ Oh, boy!” Niall looks at him in shock. “ I thought you just wanted to get her in your bed, but you might actually have feelings for her.”

 “ You’re not helping.” Shawn lays his head on the couch behind him.

 “ I never thought I would live to see this day. Shawn Mendes actually has feelings.”

 “ Shut up!” Shawn throws a pillow on him. “ If you tell any of this to Taylor or Joe you’re a dead man.”