Crowded Room

11. Ice Cream

“ Shawn, did you hear anything I just said?” Camila asks, looking up at him as they’re sitting on a bench. 

 It was a Saturday and after working more on the songs for the musical, they started talking about the places she needed to see in New York, which led to him offering to show her Central Park. She insisted they should get ice cream when they passed through a thematic shop, so they ended with two cones on a bench at the park.

 “ What?” Shawn asks, conforming to her he didn’t hear a word she said. “ Sorry.”

 He finally looked into her eyes and she could have sworn he was staring at her lips. She was imagining things, right? She was getting that thought out of her head when he reached his hand to her face and brushed his thumb across the corner of her lips.

 “ You have something here.” Shawn says, removing the ice cream she had on her lips before licking it out of his thumb.

 “ Thanks.” Camila whispers, trying to breathe properly while her cheeks go red.

 Both of them stay in silence as they finish their ice cream cones and Camila can feel him looking at her as she observes the people walking by. She looks back at him, thinking he would look away, but he doesn’t. There’s so much tension between them and she doesn’t know how to deal with that. She never felt like that before. She was wondering if he wanted to kiss her, but at the same time she kind of wished he wouldn’t because she was too nervous about it.

 “ Should we just keep walking?” She blurts out before standing up and looking away.

 “ Yeah, sure.” Shawn clears his throat and follows her as they walk in silence for a while.

 Camila feels like an idiot. He was clearly about to kiss her and she just acted like a chicken and backed off. Did she even want him to kiss her? There were so many thoughts running through her mind about him and if he even saw her like that, or if she really wanted it, that she was sure had gone insane at this point.

 She decides the best way to fill the awkward silence was to talk to him like they would always do. She asked him something about his friends and eventually they went back to having a normal conversation, the almost kiss, or maybe that just happened in her imagination, was long forgotten.

 “ So Broadway is the dream?” Shawn asks her after they start talking about their love for music.

 “ I know. Cliche, right?” She laughs as he guides her to the nearest subway station. “ Small town girl comes to New York to fulfill her dreams of starring in a Broadway production.” 

 “ When you say it like that.” He laughs with her, grabbing her hand before they walk into the subway and pulling her to a corner where she can rest her back against the wall. “ But if anyone can make that happen, that’s you. Look at you, you just started college and you’re already starring in a production that’s not even meant for freshmen students.”

 “ That was just luck.” Camila smiles, looking up at him, who’s standing in front of her with one of his hands resting on the wall next to her head.

 “ Are you kidding me? What did I tell you about being more confident?” He raises his eyebrows at her, making her giggle. “ You’re just that good, Camila.”

 “ Okay, maybe you’re right.” She curses herself for blushing again. “ But that’s kind of a cocky thing to say about yourself.”

 He laughs and nods his head, knowing people do think he’s cocky. But somehow Camila thought that only added to his charm and personality.

 “ I know what I want and I know I’m good at it. What’s wrong with that?” He shrugs.

 “ What is it that you want?” Camila asks curiously.

 He stays in silence for a moment, staring into her eyes before finally clearing his throat and answering her.

 “ I want to write music.” He simply says, like that was the most obvious thing in the world. “ I don’t want to get stuck in an office for the rest of my life wearing suits and having people who kiss my ass everywhere I go.”

 Camila wants so badly to ask about his father, but she’s not sure he would want to tell her about that. She knows he doesn’t want to be like his father, that’s pretty obvious.

 “ I want people to hear my music and feel something.” He adds with a smile, making her smile back at him. 

 She reaches her hand up to fix her glasses on her face and almost has a heart attack when he uses his free hand to brush a strand of hair out of her face. They fall back into silence, but this time it’s not awkward at all. She feels comfortable and safe around him and everytime their eyes meet, it’s like they’re having a private conversation just looking at each other. When they get out of the subway, Shawn grabs her hand once again and she tries to ignore the way her heart is beating against her chest when he doesn’t let go of it. He keeps holding her hand the entire way and once again she’s back to question what is this thing between them.

 Shawn insisted on taking the rest of the day to show her around the city, at least some places she hadn’t seen yet. She wasn’t sure why he was doing this for her, but she knew deep down that they had become friends in this short period of time. She was getting even closer to him than she did to Hailee and Taylor and she wasn’t sure how to process that. Part of her still thought he only wanted to get into her pants because of his reputation, but everytime he spoke to her she completely forgot about that. He was always so nice to her, taking care of her and making sure she was okay. That could only mean he saw her as a friend, she thought. If he wanted something else with her, he would have made his move by now.