draco malfoy imagines

the recorder (request #3)🥀

word count: 2255
house: up to u <333
warning: angst, draco's pov
read the a/n in the end <333
request by: -mxatrto 
i hope u like this <33

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the recorder

The room was spinning.

I am not sure if its just the angry tears that are slowly forming at the corner of my eyes, or is it the fact that I am fed up with all of the heavy feeling that I am feeling inside my heart. My chest felt so heavy, and seeing her cry like that makes things harder for me. I never made her cry, why am I making her cry right now?

I got angry in the most simplest thing, and I didn't even know what was the root cause of our argument anymore. This has been happening for a long time now and I am not happy with the direction that our relationship is heading. I love Y/N with all my heart, and yet here I am, hurting her.

I want to fix myself and fix our relationship because I can't afford to lose her. She means so much to me and I can't live with her not beside me. It would only be an empty space, it would feel so empty.

But I still hurt her, and I still made her cry, and the regret that followed every word I said is hurting me. The weight in my chest keeps getting heavier, and it just crushed my already broken heart.

I didn't want to make her cry, I didn't intend to make her feel what she is feeling at that moment. Heck, I didn't even want to hurt her, but my pride has gotten the best of me, and I let my emotions take over. We always fight, Y/N and I, but this was the most terrible fight that we had, and I know for a fact that she is confused, hurt, and shocked with what I told her, but instead of holding on to her, instead of holding her in my arms, I held onto my pride, which was why I did what I did, why I hurt her. I didn't mean what I say, and as much as I want to take back all of the things that I said, I can't take it back. The damage has been done, and all I can do is apologize.

"Y/N I...I am sorry, I didn't mean what I said--" I tried to explain. I tried to approach her, to hug her and tell her that I am sorry, tell her that I will never repeat what I did, but she flinched at my touch, and it broke my heart even more. She thought I would hurt her, she thought that I would even hurt her and that pained me. I would never do that to her. I would never cause any harm to her intentionally.

"Stay away from me, Draco!" she screamed, which made me frozen in my tracks. She glared at me with hatred, and I felt ashamed of myself. She looked at me one last time, and she stormed out of the room. As I watch her leave the door, I felt my heart ache even more. I wanted to follow her because I can't manage to lose her, but when I tried to move my feet, I can't. I was frozen in place and I just watch her leave me.

"I...I can't imagine a world with you gone. Please come back." I whispered, but I knew that she didn't hear me.

When I recovered from the shock of her leaving me, my legs gave up on me and I sat down, feeling defeated. I burried my face on my palms, as I sob, hoping for Y/N to come back.

"She'll come back." I told myself, trying to convince me that she will, that she won't leave me, that she still loves me despite hurting her so much. "I know she will."

---

"Draco, Draco." Someone said, shaking me. I slowly opened my eyes. It was hard for me to open my eyes because of all the dried tears. I didn't even remember falling asleep. All I remembered how I watched the love of my life leave me because I was being selfish. I was prideful. And the pain, the heavy feeling in my chest is still there. I saw my mother sitting at the foot of my bed, slowly waking me up.