2 YEARS AGO

★Chapter 23★

(HARRY)

My mind was completely foggy and i knew that i had to clear it out in order to get through today. Its just that i couldn't stop thinking about what happened last night, between Louis and i. It all went down so fast that i barely had time to even think. Louis basically through himself at me and i did nothing to stop him. I mean, it felt nice and it definately turned me on, (just thinking about it makes my stomach ache), but that was too much. We havent even spoken that much since he came to Manchester so i shouldn't have let it get that far so soon.

Gosh, and if it wasnt bad enough that i walked in on him hard as a rock and pinned him on a wall, then the comments i gave afterwards are definately something!

I'm glad you're still a good bottom.

What the actual fuck. Why would i say that?! Its almost like i had no control over my actions in that moment. Im happy Liam walked in on us because who knows what could have transpired if he didn't.

For now though, Louis has to be blocked out of my mind because today is a huge day for me. I've been waiting for it from before mid-terms started. Now they're over and i can finally focus on what i've been planning.

Auditioning.

That's right. I'm going ahead and auditioning for the band, OneSided, that we saw perform a few weeks ago. Am i confident that ill get the gig? No, but its a step closer to becoming the old me again. Is the band huge and successful? Again, no. That doesnt mean that it wont be an experience of a life time. I miss writing and singing and being social. I hate the person i've become. This anti-social, dark, loveless wreck who walks around with guilt and a death on his shoulder. It's time i let go of the things that make me cold and depressed.

Will my dad have a panic attack when he finds out that im singing again (in a band, if i get the spot), yes. He most probably will, but ill cross that bridge when i get there. Hopefully its not anytime soon though. I don't want to be confronted by him about anything because that means that ill have to start explaining from the beginning. That includes being gay, meeting Louis, Zayn's death and finally everything that's happened now. It's just too much. I havent even dealt with all of it fully. I will though.

As of now i just want to focus on the auditions. I feel as if i have high chances because this band is very diversified in its music genre. Their songs vary from rock to pop rock and even slow indies. My voice would be a perfect fit if i can show how im able to fit it into all those music types. I just have to be confident and keep myself undistracted.

All these thoughts about the auditions were swerling in my mind that i didn't even realise i had reached the coffee shop. I planned to get something small to fill my stomach before i headed to the Unison Hall but before i entered the shop, i checked to see if a certain blue eyed boy was in there. I'd learnt my lesson with this shop in the past few months and that's to always check who might be in it before walking into the lion's den.

I peaked through the window, straight ahead of me and there was noone familiar. When i looked to the corner of the shop, however, i caught sight of Louis who i knew would be in there. He seemed to not have noticed me though and that's okay. I guess i was going to the damn audition hungry, and thats okay too. Talking to Louis about everything is definately on my list of things to do, but not today.

I tore my eyes away from the boy who sat with Liam and a few other of his teammates. I kept my hands buried in my jean pockets and strode off from the shop, ignoring the slight hunger that i felt. I could deal with no food for a bit. I've done it plenty of times especially being a law student that never gets a break. Basically, i am used to it.