passing paradise │oliver wood

chapter 22

Chapter 22

The next day was as brutal as ever. I hadn't gone to battle against Lurkers but instead with Oliver. And it didn't end right. I didn't win. He didn't either. I expected that one day or another, it was bound to happen. An argument filled with compressed outdated and recent opinions that didn't make the surface because we were just too busy to argue. Last night proved how messed up it had become.

During breakfast at the Great Hall, I had the urge to talk to him, to say how sorry I am. But he wasn't there. I had to let it go because I couldn't talk to any of my friends about it. The boys didn't know anything about it and Zara didn't know how serious it was. I badly wanted to tell someone but I was terrified what they would think.

One thing that came out good from all the bad news was that Oliver and I didn't share any classes together any longer. I could focus on the task instead of looking at him all the time, wondering if I ever want to fix it. If it was worth fixing even if he hated me. Hated what I am.

At the back of the classroom, during Charms with Ravenclaws and Year 5's, I had trapped myself into my own little cocoon. Professor Flitwick was teaching the Shielding Charm for deflecting minor jinxes before diving deeper into non-verbal charms, and everyone had their wands out, practicing it. Therefore, it was loud, exactly what I didn't need. I needed peace because my head was ripping me out. Not because of any headache but because I had to tell someone what happened. I had to let it out.

"Zara..." I cautiously called out.

She looked at me in a snap, putting down her wand. Her face read she was anticipating this, of course she'd pick it up soon. "Yeah?" She slowly asked.

I glanced at Adrian, Terence and Flint who were all busy practicing the charm. I gave a weary look before taking a deep breath and letting it all out. I told her about Oliver and I. It wasn't a crush any longer, it was something different. Something difficult to handle. I told her about the relationship, everything we shared and all the good memories. I left out when we visited Earth 616 but it was just a small portion of everything else. Then I told her about last night. I told her how he looked at me, how he pushed me, how he had dealt with it poorly; how we dealt with everything poorly. And I told her how he hates me.

"I don't think he hates you," Zara tried to comfort, wiping a travelling tear sliding down my red cheeks. "He was stressed and being stressed can make you say things you completely do not mean."

"But I am the reason why he's stressed, that's why he hates me."

"He's an arsehole, we know that but... it's Oliver. He's Oliver Wood. You saw this coming although don't take it into heart. He can't hate you because he's incapable of doing so. As you said, all he knew was Quidditch so how can he know about how to hate you?"

I took a shaky breath in and out, thankful that the room was loud and noisy. Everyone was busy and once, that was a good thing. "We're over. I don't think I can fix it."

"Do you want to?"

"I'm tired," I honestly said, slumping down on my seat. "I don't think I physically can go through the trouble of trying to fix it."

"Then don't if you wouldn't want to," She said bluntly. "In time, you'll get better. Plus, I think you need a break. You were extremely sick weeks ago and going around with him might not be the best idea right now."

"Yeah," I sighed.

"And I thought he hated Slytherins..."

"He did. He does. Of course, he does. He always will. But for a moment there, I really thought that he didn't."