relapse
I think it started with me not being able to eat much anymore,
I lost my appetite completely,
And I didn't have the urge to eat either,
I would have to be forced to eat,
Even watched to make sure I ate.
Then,
I lost interest in things I loved,
I stopped watching anime,
I stopped playing my otome games,
Replying to people felt like a chore,
I began to become more fatigued,
I started to take longer showers,
I started to not care for myself,
I started to feel empty,
As if there was a hole in my chest,
That I couldn't fill,
No matter how hard I tried.
Working was my distraction.
Helping others was my distraction.
Then,
I began to break down more,
Have anxious tendencies and anxiety attacks more,
I began to become my worst enemy without coming to the realization of it.
Then,
I felt myself slipping,
I tried putting up a front,
I tried to be the best I could be for others,
I tried making others smile,
I tried making others laugh more,
I tried to leave a positive impact on others,
Then,
4/9/21
I didn't realize how close to the edge I was,
Until I kept taking Tylenol,
I just couldn't stop,
A part of me didn't want to stop.
2...lifesavers stopped me,
One talked me through it on the phone.
One messaged me to help me calm down.
Without them- I wouldn't be here, I believe.
Without them- I would have been successful in my overdose.
a.b.
YOU ARE READING
Tarnished Beauty
PoetryYou and I, we have different stories and that's what makes us all individually unique. This is just a continuation of mine- where I try and fix myself, relapsing along the way. I hope this gives you hope or whatever you need to survive.
