the fear of losing you
I'm scared of losing you.
I fear the thought,
Of not having you.
I fear that you'll leave.
That I'll be left alone,
On the ground,
In the midst of my own tears.
I feel on edge.
I don't want to mess anything up.
I don't want to say anything wrong.
I know we are okay.
At least I hope that we are, regardless if you tell me that we are.
I just can't help,
But to clutch on your comforting existence.
Do you...feel the same?
Do you...still adore me?
Do...you...still love me?
The need for constant reassurance is high for me.
After that fight, I can't help but need it.
I've been through so much.
I just...need you to remind me that you love me still.
I need you to gently cup my cheek and let me lean into it.
I need you to look at me and smile for no reason with that goofy grin of yours.
I need for you to place your hand on my thigh and gently rub your thumb against it.
Or
I need for you to hold your hand in mine and have a comforting silence between us.
For once, I crave physical affection.
For once, I crave another human being.
For once, I crave you.
And that scares me.
The thought of losing that, losing you, scares me.
It leaves me thinking, simple and rational what ifs...
Then those what-ifs make me apologize for no reason.
Why? Because I rather apologize for something that hasn't happened and probably won't happen.
And let you know that I care about us.
Why? Because I love you and I want us to last...
a.b.
YOU ARE READING
Tarnished Beauty
PoetryYou and I, we have different stories and that's what makes us all individually unique. This is just a continuation of mine- where I try and fix myself, relapsing along the way. I hope this gives you hope or whatever you need to survive.
