9:19 pm confession
Luckily I did all my assignments before I lost my motivation to do anything...gotta love manic episodes. Depression and OCD (anxiety disorder) kick my ass sometimes and the 10mg of Lexapro only helps so much. I don't hate myself like I used to. I don't starve myself like I used to. I don't have severe panic attacks like I used to. I'm still terrified of crowds, of talking on the phone, of working at my job, of leaving my room; I'm just terrified of everything. It isn't bad like it used to be when I was back at university where I isolated myself, thinking of ways to kill myself...it isn't bad like it used to be. I'm still scared of myself though, I'm terrified of the things I could do to myself. I could disappoint a lot of people with the drowning insufferable thoughts that I have, or maybe by the fact that the Lexapro numbs me up enough to allow my thoughts to be processed. I don't know...but I am glad I got those assignments done...
a.b.
YOU ARE READING
Tarnished Beauty
PoetryYou and I, we have different stories and that's what makes us all individually unique. This is just a continuation of mine- where I try and fix myself, relapsing along the way. I hope this gives you hope or whatever you need to survive.
