I See Fire

4 | Panic attack

Abuja, Nigeria

01/01/22

12:40am

Farouk

I expect it took you at least a day to find yours because yours was hard to hide but it was also somewhere you could find easily. Anyways I would've become a resident somewhere in the heart of a beautiful and peaceful country. Dear Farouk how are you? You know, I always had a feeling you and Amira would always be my ride or die's.

I miss you so much. You made me a better version of myself and taught me how to be better when I was just as stuck up and snobby as those girls you crushed on in my set.

The day you disappointed me was the day Imad came and you told him that I was seeing someone and that he should leave me alone. I thought you were all in for my happiness, so what happened?

Obviously he would be the one to tell me later on. He was that straightforward. I noticed that he was angry for some unknown reason that day so I asked and all he said was are you seeing someone else?

Of course I wasn't but to you I was. What were you after little brother? Did someone put you up to it? I know you'd never do such a thing to me. Did you cross paths with a rumour you never got to clarify? What happened?

I know you're still a good boy, please remain that. As for your reading from the professor, it was probably the least complicated of all the others.

Please brother, stay away from a new mixed race boy from the West in your school. He says you'll become of the earth if you don't desist from such a friendship.

I still love you baby brother. Even if our friendship was lost in my spineless effort to manage my depression. I know something else but that's something I overheard one night when I passed Yusuf's room. Both of you were talking about waiting for me to get married so that you could have a breath of fresh air.

It hurt me so much. I still cry whenever I remember that horrid night.

Please tell the rest I hope they're happy; that's all I wish but they should all be careful with how they run their lives. They're gambling and most will be running at a loss if they're not careful.

Goodnight and goodbye fave bro. At least you'll never see me again.
_______________________________

Farouk smiled and wiped the tears in his eyes. He secretly cared for his sister but he didn't want to be turned into an outcast because of his loyalty to Zayda.

He, out of all her siblings, wanted to hire a PI to figure out where she ran off to but he had too much to lose at this time so he'd planned to start a while from now so he could concentrate on his academics.

Plus where was a university student going to get the money to hire anyone to do anything for him? It was a lost cause, at least the intention was there.

"Farouk baby!" His mother called from downstairs "Usama, Amira? All of you should come downstairs."

He thought of answering but remained silent, pretending to be asleep so she'd look for another sibling to help her out with whatever she needed.

He cried; silently, sulking for his recently estranged sister. She was always his favorite but he had to play the I-don't-care card in front of his siblings.

Only in his mother's presence did he breakdown like a baby. Even his father thought he was as heartless as the remaining four.

On the day of her disappearance, he was just trying to hold himself with the cigarettes, movies and activities that he barely indulged in like going to the gym and running outside, just so he wouldn't show weakness but after 48 hours he lost it.