I See Fire

22 | Day 3

Jordan, Madaba.

23/01/22

13:30pm

"Tell me why you brought me here." I shield my eyes from the sun with my hands. "It's beautiful though."

"This is where I was born." He puts his hands in the pockets of his jacket "I just thought it'd be nice to visit where I was bred before everything was gone since we were already in the city."

"Do you think they'll not welcome us?"

"They will. I've.." He looks at his shoes, toeing the stones close to his feet "Stalked them for a while now."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of." I step forward to stand in-front of him and his body shields me from the sun "This place means something to you."

"I'm also ashamed of it."

"Why?" I adjust my burka. I started wearing a few days ago so no one would see me and possibly recognize me. Yesterday I saw woman shadowing us in the market before we reacged the bus stop.

I didn't recognize her at first but soon I see it's my mother and I tell Lotfi to get us on any bus that would stop before Madaba and we could take a cab to the next city. That was how we kept going in circles and she wouldn't stop calling my name.

Lotfi had to ask who is Zayda?

I had to lie that i didn't know who that was but my mother kept yelling in the street like a crazy person who'd just escaped an asylum so people had to hold her back till we managed to jump into a bus that actually stopped at Madaba luckily.

You might wonder why I chose to take buses instead of a cab. I wanted to mingle with the locals and feel like one of them whilst experiencing the trivialities they did on a normal day.

Since we've been traveling we've been getting closer. He traded secrets for my time and I sell my pain for a chance at more happiness with him.

"I didn't try to look for them. I don't know if they survived and are in another village or town." He closes his eyes and tears trail down his cheeks and my fingers itched to wipe them away "I'm a coward."

"Cowards are brave men that lost their paths." I sit on a giant rock and he sits on the one beside me "You have to find your path again."

"How?"

"Knocking on that door."

"Are you sure?" He holds his face in his palms.

"Yes."

He stands up and I rise up too. He looks at me quirking an eyebrow and I chuckle.

"Where are you going?"

"You didn't think I was going to let you do it alone right?" I adjust my side bag and we begin to walk side by side "Lets go!"

"Ok." He laughs, visibly calming down.

He walks in front and follow behind like a soldier marching to war with the blindest courage one can have. We didn't talk, we didn't look at one another. I was scared for him, he was scared of their reaction.