I See Fire

54 | Day 7

Jordan, Amman.

27/01/22

06:30am

•Zayda

The day had come.

No more running to catch trains or bus rides, watch the sunrise or perform questionable rituals.

A week and not more than that is here on the dot. Ready to the tea for me. To finalize the last step of my plan.

My phone fell on the bathroom floor yesterday so the screen was slightly disfigured but I could still tell the date and time. It was a few minutes after the Fajr prayer and I could hear the Imam's voice from the mosque carrying them along in congregation while I remained on my bed since I'd prayed before them.

I stared at my hands, thinking of how the today would be. My cancer didn't matter and Lotfi certainly didn't need to know everything. We'd have to go our separate ways after today anyways.

The knock on my door tells me he's here. I scamper off to the door and let him in. He doesn't go in immediately but his eyes look around the room probably wondering if those men were coming here today again.

"Nobody is here."

"I need to make sure I'm on guard so I can protect us."

"You don't need to do that. Our contract ends today."

"We're not yet in Amman."

"Well, have a sit."

"Thank you."

"Stop being formal with me."

"We're friends now." He takes some money out of his pocket and drops it on the bed for me "This is all you paid me this trip. Please take it back."

"Why?"

"You're my friend. You also changed my life."

"That doesn't mean I should get a free pass on what you'd charge others for."

"That decision's for me to make."

"Take it please, I will feel guilt."

"There are other reasons you should be feeling guilty."

He stood firm watching my slanted eyes that bore deeply into his soul. I pushed the door and went to sit on one of the two chairs the room afforded.

"So..."

"So..." I mimicked, crossing my legs and leaning back on the chair.

"What am I missing?" He moves his five fingers in a circle in between them "... in this whole transparency thing?"

"Hmmm..."

"That means it's more than just family issues."

"You can say that again." I chuckled, laughing a little but nothing was funny to him.

I cleared my throat and waited for his next speech.

"What happened Zayda?"

"Uhmm..." I tsked, jamming my two index fingers against each other nervously "The start of it all was that night when you saw a man in my room. He was an assassin."

"Why were to talking to an assassin?"

"I want to die." I smacked my lips and pursing it so he doesn't notice the quivering. If I dared look at him, my eyes would expose all of my suppressed depression.

"What do you mean you want to die? I can't believe the casual manner you're saying this with."

"I've wanted it from the start." I shrug, immediately noticing how sad he feels for me. Something like pity too and confusion "That's the reason why I came here."