I See Fire

49 | A thousand & one more examinations

Aamanee stared at the giant green blazer she held in the air. The new uniform that had been requested from the school by her parents was returned yesterday by the dry cleaner who'd washed and ironed it nearly to perfection. The only problem was that it was too big and she knew why so she didn't complain.

She'd already been wearing it for almost a month. WAEC was to end in a few days with three subjects remaining; Biology (practical), Commerce and English Language, two of which she had to write today.

The mirror before her made her loathe her appearance so much more than the other days because, like the other days, this was another day where she had to hide her pregnancy under a giant skin of clothes to avoid gossip and embarrassment. Tomorrow again, she'd detest what she saw through the glass because it remained her present.

It wasn't like people didn't guess or whisper about the possibility. She just wasn't ready to fight in her state. Amira wasn't helping with the way she'd been treating her since their clash in the hospital when she refused to admit she was really expecting.

Their conversations reduced to short greetings enunciated to avoid not talking at all and looking like a modern day African magic novella. Only in school and if necessary, after school did Amira speak to her.

Aamanee got angry and began to treat her the same way but even as one of the two sisters was older, maturity was not a road any of them wanted to take so they live in their pettiness, uncaring of the strain it could have on their relationship in the future.

She wore the blazer and sprayed some perfume before stashing it inside her blazer pocket and forcefully buttoning it to cover her stomach. It's length reached her thighs and her skirt was made to go below her knees. She was the poster child for entrance exam students with her long socks.

Her schoolbag was stuffed with her textbooks and remaining pens scattered on the bed. She left for the stairs and met her family having breakfast. As usual Farouk stayed upstairs until everyone was gone and they feared he'd soon kill himself like Nadine did.

"Ina kwana mama." Good morning mum. She squatted, holding the edge of the dining table.

"Good morning baby, have a seat." Waleeda smiled, too perfectly, as she began pouring some milk into Aamanee's mug. "We're so proud of you, ok?"

"Yes mummy," she chewed on toasted bread she'd rubbed some butter on, crunching down in anger that Waleeda wouldn't stop talking to her. Three cubes of sugar were thrown in by her and she stirred with a teaspoon. "When is daddy come back from the hospital? It's been two months."

"Today," she answered in a sad tone, her cheek bones lowering to strain her face "Insha Allah."

"Has his arm been fixed?" Usama asked calmly, finally acting more mature now that he knew he was going to be promoted to Jss2.

"Yes, the doctor confirmed it to me two days ago." Waleeda stated, dragging a fork full of eggs to her mouth whilst dropping her left hand on his shoulder and squeezing lightly.

Aamanee suddenly didn't feel hungry again so she drops her half eaten bread on her plate and pushes it away, sipping from her mug of milk. She worried for Farouk so she grabbed him some food on a tray and took it to him.

"Can I come in?" She knocked.

He didn't answer so she pushed the door and entered. Farouk was seated on the floor shirtless, in his sweat pants looking at his phone. He didn't acknowledge Aamanee so she dropped the tray on his lap and sat beside him to see he was staring at Aisha's pictures.

"I know how you feel."

Farouk shook his head, hissing "Stop it, you don't."

"I do." She looked at his screen, her heart beating because she knew Aisha was really dead and her being gone after knowing her for so long broke her. "I lo-like someone I can't be with. He might as well be dead."