Erwin Smith x Reader Oneshots

🖤Our Last Night🖤

uhmmmmmm so here's some sad shit hehe

kind of a modern au ig? still the regular plot of aot tho :)

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I kept my head hung low during the entirety of the meeting. I knew exactly what was happening tomorrow, but I was still unsure on why or how I felt the way I did. It was dangerous, so shouldn't I be uneasy or troubled about it? No. Instead, I endured that wonderful, yet terrible feeling of being content. We would all surely die tomorrow, and the fact satisfied me. 

I couldn't even hear Nile's grating voice anymore, I had learned to tune it out and make it like a fuzzy memory. Being the commander of the Military Police, he had a nasty habit of rambling on about irrelevant details. But most of his soldiers had that same habit too. Maybe it was because they were all snooty, due to the fact they lived behind the safety of the walls, while in the Scouting Regiment, we actually dedicated our lives to the freedom of humanity.

"I believe this meeting is over. Does anyone have any final comments or questions?" Premier Zackly interrupted Nile's words as he stood up from his chair at the head of the table. Since everybody remained silent, he declared the meeting officially over. All of the other commanders and representatives of the regiments stood out of their own chairs and started to silently file out of the room. The only person who wasn't there was our Commander Smith, which was highly unusual of him. He attended every meeting, but now he was absent.

"(L/N). Do you have a moment?" Zackly pulled me aside, away from Hange and Levi. I took one final glance at them before turning to the older and probably much wiser commander.

"What's wrong sir?" I questioned confusedly. He looked at me with an expression that was slightly pleading.

"Erwin is one of the best commanders the Scouting Regiment has ever had. We cannot lose him now. So I'm giving you a mission of your own." He calmly and quietly explained to me. I felt myself holding back tears and emotions. He was going to ask me to convince Erwin not to go on the expedition tomorrow. Levi and I have already tried to ask him what he's going to do after the battle. He won't budge.

"Tell him not to go tomorrow. I know you already asked him, but now I want you to tell him." He finally ordered after a minute of complete silence. Now, it was just Zackly and I in this meeting room. All the other soldiers and aristocrats left.

"I-I'll try my best sir." I sadly responded and strolled out of the room, fiddling with the button on my Survey Corps jacket. The long olive green fabric was made of the purest cotton. I remember when it was first given to me by Erwin. 

It's not that I don't love the commander. I love him as a friend. There's a difference between a friend love and a soulmate love. Although the difference isn't obvious, it's something there that prevents a person from kissing their best friend out of nowhere. 

'Just convincing...just ordering...' I told myself as I approached Erwin's makeshift office in the government center. I balled up my fist and raised it to knock on the door, but hesitated for a moment. What was I doing? If Levi hadn't any luck with him, who knows if I would?

'Fuck it' 

Without any more thoughts, I softly tapped on the door twice, hoping the blonde behind the door would let me in. I don't know why, but tears threatened to fall from my eyes like broken faucets. I couldn't have anyone see me in this weak state. Especially Erwin. I can't do it. I was going to break down soon, and when I did, it wouldn't be pretty.