I'm Done

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Moni POV

It was the day of my dad's funeral, James Williams

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It was the day of my dad's funeral, James Williams. I never stopped crying since the day I found out so the tears were rolling down and I could hear my mom crying in her room getting ready. We all couldn't believe it; it was sadder than I knew why he was in his casket right now. I wish I knew who he was, I knew we would get along perfectly, honestly, he doesn't even seem like a dad, he seems like a fun uncle, but that doesn't matter. I haven't been around him to know who he was at all. You really can cry for someone you don't know personally at all even if they were supposed to be close to you.

Newsworthy kept calling my phone and I never answered and then he came over and knocked on my window it was the most intense, sad conversation ever.

My mom wasn't there the rest of the day, I guess she went out driving to clear her mind it's like whenever he's here, she never is... like he can sense when to come or something or he watches her and makes sure to stay out of her way. 

So, when he came over, he found out that I was over it, and over him even though I had just a part as he did, he was angry and I feel like it's about to be another war between us, and I don't have time for that and I told him he seemed hurt, but I was more hurt about my father.

For me to keep talking to this man is disrespectful even though he shouldn't be blamed because everyone blames him, and we both didn't know even though I felt a connection. I should have known he had sympathy just not enough for me to say goodbye, but now he has too.

I had on a dress, and I rarely wear dresses, and I stepped out to see my mom in hers in the hallway upstairs she came back to show me. She then stretched her arms out to hug me and I hugged her back. I couldn't be the one to tell her, this secret goes to the grave. I wouldn't want my own mom to hate me.

Flashback

I was crying on my bed, I had so many tissues and my head was hurting. I even contemplated suicide, but I didn't do it thankfully. I was so mad at myself and my decisions, I knew it was gonna be something that was gonna shake something up soon. I just didn't think someone I didn't care about would be involved.

I wanted to turn the television on to cheer me up, but I honestly wanted to sit in the dark and then I got a knock on my window, and I turned I was happy and sad to see Chris, but mostly angry, I wanted to yell, but he didn't know and neither did I, a bottom line someone still had to die, and it would be on our hands.

At first, I acted like I didn't see him and crossed my arms, but he kept knocking on my window, so I got up and lifted it up and he saw my tears immediately and his face softened up as he comforted me.

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