Cue of secrets

Chapter 24

I used to be afraid of the rain. Pero ngayon, hindi na. I took therapies that will help me get rid of my fear when it's raining.

"I kept on signaling you to go inside. It's raining. Aren't you afraid of rain, Elle?"

He's right in front of me. Hindi ko alam na dadating pa ang araw na 'to, where I can see him very near.

"No." I only answered.

When the maids saw me soaking wet, the immediately pulled me to my room to get something I could change on.

I can't get him off my mind! He looked so much better now. He's like the every standard of asian man!

Pagbalik ko sa baba, he's still there, talking to Mommy. Lumingon muna si Shaniah at Janice saakin bago ako ituro kay Alistair.

Lumayo muna ako doon. Pumasok muna ako sa sala at nag-request sa mga maid na mag-serve.

I waited for a few minutes before going out. I'm not telling him to leave, siyempre. I mean- it's a good thing he's here, right?

I saw Clyde, ate Denise's son trying to peek on Papa so I helped him to see him better.

"Is Lolo sleeping, ate Elle?" He curiously asked.

"He is sleeping. But in a few days, Lolo will be in a very beautiful place."

"So he's better there?"

"Yes. Lolo is home." I smiled at him before putting him down. Agad din siyang tumakbo sa Mommy niya.

Tinignan ko si Papa. He's smiling. That's what he always did when he's alive. Papa wants us to cope up with his dead soon. Matagal niya nang sinasabi saamin 'yon, kaya siguro naging handa na din kami.

"I'm sorry for your loss." A man behind me approached me and gently rubbed my back.

"A- Alistair." I looked at him.

"Just cry. I still know you, kilalang-kilala padin kita. Ilabas mo na." He said and pulled me in his arms.

Doon na tuluyang lumabas ang mga luha ko. Tuloy-tuloy itong umaagos.

Hinanda naman na ako ni Papa sa ganitong sitwasyon pero bakit ang sakit-sakit padin?

He rubbed my back until I slowly stopped crying.

"Thank you."

"Gusto mo tubig?"

"No, I'm good." Tanggi ko.

"Wait here. Baka ma-dehydrate ka." He said and went inside the house.

Alam niya na ang bahay namin, he used to stay here most of the time, siyempre.

"Thanks." I said as he handed me a glass of water.

"I told you to stay inside earlier. Dapat 'di ka na lumabas."

"Eh baka mainip ka. I didn't know who was in the car. Papa taught me not to make guests wait." I explained.

It's not that bad. We're still comfortable with each other. It's just that it's not like before where people can look at us and we won't mind.

"Aren't you afraid of the rain?"

"I took therapy. Okay na ako ngayon sa ulan."

"Good to know you're well."

"Yeah, thank you." I answered, running out of words to say.

"You didn't take off the ring." Amused niyang sabi nang makita ang kamay ko.

"Andaming beses nang sinabi saakin 'yan ngayong araw," I laughed. "Pero oo. Ayoko tanggalin."

"Edi good." He said and scratched his forehead. Doon ko lang napansin na ang soot niyang relo ay ang regalo ko sa kanya, and he still has my scrunchie in his other hand.

"Why didn't you throw that out?"

"What?"

"That scrunchie."

"It's one of the two things that reminded me of you."

It's funny how we have the same answer why we kept each other's gifts.

"Your Mom never changed."

"She loves bags more than ever."

"Yup, I can see." I agreed.

"Did you talk to my Ah Ma?" He slowly asked.

"She talked to me earlier."

"Ano sabi?"

"Wala." I answered. I have no plans on telling him what our conversation was about.

"I saw you crying when you talked to her."

"Linaw ng mata mo, ah." I said to get out from awkward situations.

"Answer me, Elle, or do I have to ask it to Ah Ma myself?"

"It's nothing important now, promise. Hindi na 'yon mahalaga ngayon."

He wasn't satisfied with my answer so he stood up and walked to his Ah Ma. Why is he going to her, when they haven't talked for years?

"Ah Ma, do you always have to make Elle cry? Really? Right at his father's funeral?" Irita niyang tanong.

"Alistair, hindi." Pigil ko sa kanya.

"No, apo. You saw it wrong." Ah Ma answered him.

"Then what?"

"She's not crying cause I told her something evil. I'm no angel but I'm not that evil. I told her that what her father did is not something she should be blamed for! Nag-sorry ako kay Raelle."

"Eh? Why did she cry?"

"Cause she's happy? God, Alistair." Maarteng sagot ni Ah Ma sa kanya. "Pumayag na ako kung ano man 'yung meron sainyo! Turns out, you're with that ungrateful girl."

"No, hell. I'm not with Kryz. I fired her cause she's not like Raelle. No one is like her. I don't even know where Kryz is."

"So who are you with, Alistair?" Tita Iris asked him.

"With Raelle, if we'll be able to sort things out." He said and pulled me to the part where people doesn't go.

"Why? I have plenty of things to do, Alistair."

"I know that you're in the midst of grieving. Pero I want you to know that now that you're back, I don't want to waste any time."

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you keep the ring?"

"Kasi-" I stopped, trying to sugarcoat my words.

"Don't sugarcoat your words."

"Kasi just like you, this ring is the only thing that reminds me of you! And god knows how much I wanted to stay with you." I cried.

"Shhh, Elle." He pulled me in his arms. "Was it hard?"

"Sobra. I needed you, Alistair."

"And I do too. We need each other, baby. Kelangan kita, sobra. I won't move on without you. I won't get married if it's not you. Let's go back together."

"Hindi, Alistair e. I might leave you again."

"Do have plans to?"

"Wala." I shook my head. "Ayoko. Pero hindi ko alam 'yung mga sitwasyon. Paano kung masaktan kita ulit?"

"Then I'm willing to take the pain. Kahit gaano pa ka-sakit 'yan, handa akong masaktan paulit-ulit just to end up with you. Even if I have to fight the whole universe just to be with you then I'll do it."

"I don't want to hurt you again. I'm not good for you."

"Yes, you're not good for me cause you're better for me. It's only you that can understand me, Elle. Wala nang iba."

"Let's think of it first. Maybe you just felt this way cause you missed me, but that doesn't mean that you still love me."

"Isn't keeping the watch and your ponytail not enough?"