Cue of secrets

Chapter 16

"Hindi ka pa matutulog?" I asked Shaniah when she knocked in my room.

"Ate, break na kami." Iyak niya. I have no idea what she's talking about.

"Nino? May boyfriend ka?"

"Meron. I hid him cause he doesn't want me to introduce him to my family. He's a normal person, he told me that he doesn't want to be involved with my issues."

"Anong ginawa mo?" I asked her so I could know the both sides of the story.

"Pumayag ako, mahal ko e. Lagi akong naga-adjust para sa kanya. Ganyan din naman 'yung ginagawa niya. Kaso napagod na siya, ate. People are hating him for dating me."

"Alam mo, ang painful nga niyan. Mas masakit 'yung wala ibang involved, nagsawa ka lang. I haven't been in a relationship so hindi ko alam ano kong dapat sabihin sa'yo or how should I comfort you. But I hope that my hug would make you feel better." I told her and pulled her into a tight hug.

Shaniah is really still a kid. She might be twenty, but her mental age will always be like a kid. Innocent, carefree and thoughtful.

"Thank you, ate."

"Someday, someone will finally choose you despite everything."

"Even if I'm not the best choice that there is?"

"Even if you're not the best choice that there is. Pero kung makikilala ka nila lalo, they will know that you are the best."

"How to unlove, ate? Ang sakit-sakit e."

"Shan, you can't. But I can assure you that someday, when you find the perfect person, you'll just laugh as you reminisce this day, kasi nakita mo kung gaano kasakit 'yung pinagdaaanan mo, at kung gaano ka ka-tapang kasi kinaya mo."

"Iniwan niya ba ako ate kasi hindi ako enough?"

"He left you because you're more than enough. Sure, he loved you. Pero isn't that enough for him to fight? Sabay naman kayo lumalaban e. Sumuko lang siya."

"I don't think I could let it go. Kaya ko ba, ate?"

"Chances are only given to those people who are willing to give it a shot. You can't forget if you won't try."

"I can no longer be with him, but I can't stop myself from falling for him. Ilang taon 'yun, ate. He was my strength whenever life tells me to give up. Tapos ngayon, sumuko na pala siya. Sana may heads up muna. Sinabi niya sana para sana, handa ako. I'm willing to be better for him naman, e."

"Shan, you're already the best. It's not you that's the problem, it's the society. Sila 'yung blind, hindi ikaw. Everything happens for a reason. Naalala mo si ate Erin mo? Your kuya CJ left her too. Pero pagbalik ni kuya CJ mo, lahat pala 'yon ginawa niya for a reason. Erin always told us what she's feeling. Our memories are like novels that can't be published, stories that can't be told. I am willing to be your sounding board."

"I can't change the present. I guess I'll just be happy for him now that he's free."

"You should also be free. That's the first step you should do."

Habang umiiyak si Shaniah, narinig ko ulit ang pag-bukas ng pinto at may naririnig nanaman akong hikbi.

Bumungad saakin ang umiiyak na si Isaac na buhat ni Alistair.

"Ate!" Isaac bursted out crying when he saw me.

"Why? Why? Ano nangyari?" I asked Alistair.

"Hindi ko alam. We're in the lobby tapos bigla lang siyang nagpa-buhat saakin."