Dempeo: The Reunion

Lifeless

Hey besties, it's me again. I still haven't watched the recent episode but I would have probably watched it by the time I publish this. Now let's see how our girlie Ellen is doing and leave your thoughts if you want to. I hope you enjoy besties :)

Ellen's POV:

It's 2 am I think. I wouldn't know, I've been awake since Patrick fell asleep. Him cuddling next to me is the one thing that is comforting me right now. I don't know how to think or do anything else. I'm just laying here on this bed staring at the grey ceiling and my tears betray me and escape my eyes. One tear and then another and then another. I guess everything is betraying me in my life right now right? Even my tears. Even my husband.

Flashback:

I'm strolling down the cereal isle, trying to pick out a type of cereal that would be good for the day. Cheerios or Lucky charms? As I look over the cereal, I accidentally drop one of the cereal boxes. Crap, why did I have to be so clumsy. I start to pick up the cereals quickly when a man comes over and starts to help me. I look up and see a handsome dude smiling at me and picking up the cereals with me. I smile back at him as I stand up. "Thank you Mr." He smiles softly as I say that and he holds out his hand. "No problem, I'm Chris." I look at his hand for a moment before shaking his firm hand. "I'm Ellen nice to meet you Chris."

End of flashback

And that's where it all started. How did I get from there to here? The thought races across my head as the only other sound I hear is Patrick's breathing rise and fall. Was it me? Did I do something? I always mess up everything in my life. It started so young when my mom died in front of me and then my dad died a few years ago and now I'm here in my best friends house like the same depressed little girl I was when I was younger.

Maybe I need a break. From everything, from him and acting. Well probably not acting, I like to act it's one of my favorite things to do. I shake my head softly trying to get the thoughts away. I finally close my eyes and fall asleep.

I arrive at this place, everything around me is like a pure glowing white light. I'm in my acting clothes which meant scrubs. But these were the light blue scrubs not the dark blue ones that I wear now. There's a mirror decorated with colorful jewels on a white vanity desk a few feet away and I walk towards it. I see myself and I gasp a little in . It's me but 16 years ago. This was me when I was 33 and based on the earrings and my silver bracelet, I think this was what I wore to the first day of work on Grey's Anatomy. I move closer to touch the reflection and it kinda ripples like water and all of a sudden, Chris and Patty are standing behind me, on either side of me. I turn around and I look at both of them. Chris is wearing the same grey shirt and jeans that he wore when we first met and Patty is wearing dark blue scrubs and the same look and hair as our first day of work.

They both hold out their hand to me. I look from Patty to Chris and back to Patty. Patty had his "Mcdreamy" look on and he smiled at me the same way he always does, with eyes full of love and adoration. I reach my hand out to him and suddenly he disappears and everything starts to go dark. I try to scream for help but I think Chris put his hand over my mouth to stop me from speaking.

I wake up with a jolt as Patty looks at me concerned, standing at the front of the bed. "Are you ok El? You were whispering something in your sleep." Patty comes near me and puts his palm on my forehead, checking my temperature. I nod slowly and wipe off the sweat that has formed on my face from my dream. "J-just a nightmare." I say and he nods, looking a little sad and he takes my hand into his and rubs it gently.

Jill comes into the room at that exact moment and she looks at us holding hands and Patty quickly takes his hand away from mine. "Um, I was just going to say that I made breakfast and I need to leave for work. Nice to see you here Ellen." She says not looking at my eyes and going out of the room quickly. Patty gets up from the bed and fixes his hair a little. "Your toothbrush and everything else you need is in the bathroom, call for me if you need me I'll be in the living room." He smiles softly with a hint of sadness one more time and walks out of the room. I sigh softly and watch as Patrick's dog, Clementine enters my room and hops onto the bed and on my lap.

I smile softly as I pet her gently and I pick her up as I get up off the bed. She yelps happily and I walk into the bathroom, setting her down on the rug. She snuggles closer to my leg as I brush my teeth and I finally look at myself in the mirror. My cheeks are still puffy and it looked like I aged 20 years since yesterday. My eyes have a bloodshot look and my hair was all messed up. I could even see tear marks on my cheeks. I look away to stop myself from crying at the person who looks back at me. One day at a time Ellen. You deal with this one day at a time. You can't go crazy or have a total breakdown, you have kids and they need you. The world needs you. I wipe my eyes a little as I continue brushing my teeth. I just need to see what I need to do next to get through this mess..

1058 words! I did watch the episode and I cried a lot. When I mean a lot, I mean full on waterworks and my eyes hurting and they still hurt. My heart still hurts too after watching that, I felt so happy but also so sad. Watching him walk away alone just broke me in more ways than one, I feel dead inside. I mean I didn't want Mer to die but seeing him walk away was like loosing him all over again. Anyways enough about my never ending sadness of the recent greys episode, leave your thoughts about this if you want to and I hope you enjoyed bestie ❤️.