Trigger ↬ [ P.JS ]

Chapter 35:

Her sweat dripped down her forehead as she continued banging her hands in an attempt to open the door. Faint hues of dark purple, blue, and black tinted her knuckles while her eyes were scrubbed red. Lia's body was shaking. She haven't been able to stop herself from being hysteric since she heard about the neo plane crash.

"I can feel her! I can feel her presence, Seo Yuno! Our daughter, she's- she's here. Please, just let me go. I can protect myself, please. I'm begging you." she cried out loud, knees giving up and landing on the hard ground.

"I can't let you go-"

"Why not!?"

"You'll be in danger! I'm doing this because I want you to be safe, Lia. I love you, and I'm just fulfilling my promise to protect you. I'll do everything that I can to find her, to find Astrid, but please I can't let you go there. You might be taken away from me, you might be hurt and I can't handle that. Stay for me here." Yuno held his wife tightly, softly kissing her temple.

"Astrid," Lia sobbed on his shoulder. Her breath was uneven and her shoulders were trembling. She supported herself by grabbing Yuno's sides, still crying while leaning against him.

"I know that we're safer here. And there aren't many cases outside, but I don't want you to risk yourself, okay?" he said, tone warm, staring into nothing. "Astrid is smart. She's strong. I believe in her, she can handle herself."

"I've been believing in her for so long that I'm getting sick of it, Seo. I'm getting tired, and I'm loosing hope. I can't loose Astrid. I can't loose my daughter!" she pushed Yuno away, turning to the door once again.

The man grabbed her shoulders rougher than he intended, "She's my daughter too, Lia! I'm her father. And if you think that you're the only one worrying about her then you're absolutely wrong!" he slammed her against the door, earning a tired groan from his wife.

"Well, it's your fault anyway! All of this is your fault!" she removed his arms on her body.

"How is it my fault-"

"You did-"

"How is it my fucking fault!? How!?"

They locked eyes. Their anger seemed to last long, and their glares just became sharper as each moment passed by. Lia's breath was sharp and ragged, throat dry from all the crying and screaming, while Yuno seemed raging and furious.

Yuno gripped Lia's head on one hand, giving her a threatening look. "You always say that. I'm tired of it. Just suck it up!" he abruptly let go of his hold, sending the woman harshly to the ground. For a swift second, he almost thought of hurting her intentionally.

When he noticed that she didn't look up and started crying instead, his gaze immediately softened and he kneeled beside her. "I'm- I'm so sorry, love. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- it's just that, anger got the best of me and I- I lost control. I'm so sorry." he cradled her in his arms tightly while whispering words of regret. "You know better than not make me angry, Lia." he tightened his grip on her arms, making the skin turn red.

"You hurt me, you're hurting me." she whimpered.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Can I just go to bed please? I'm tired." Lia supported herself and walked towards their shared bed in the medium-sized hotel room with her husband. She lied down, not bothering to change into more comfortable and clean clothes. Closing her eyes, she tried to stabilize her breath as she felt Yuno join the bed behind her.

The truth is, she thought of a plan. She wanted to make Yuno fall asleep, then sneak out. She just had to wait to hear his snores, find the key card, and run. She really wanted to meet her daughter, and her gut feeling can't be not true as she had the strongest instinct of protecting her once she saw the words on the news.

A train of thoughts tickled her brain. All of the possibilities a person can think of probably passed her head at one point. Wanting to change the past, she thought it's almost impossible, like a clock turning the other way.

She should've listened.

Soon enough, she felt stable breathing on her nape, the familiar sound of her husband's snore and that's what gave her the signal to slowly get up and scan the room for the card. She knew better than to expect it lying around, so she looked in the messy space of Yuno, looking for the white printed card. Once she saw it behind his bag, she swiftly grabbed it, also grabbing her shoes and swiping the card and striding off, away from the room.

She hurriedly put on her shoes, gasping for breath as she reached the elevator on the level. Pressing the ground floor, she tried to think of where she could possibly find her daughter in this large city.

The metal door of the elevator dinged and opened, making Lia march out of the suffocating space. She limped her way out of the building, trusting her gut feeling again and turning right on the street.

She looked around, searching for a familiar head, or clothes she remembered her daughter had. She reached an abandoned part of the city, her steps slowed down while her eyes scanned the unfamiliar area. "I still feel her." she whispered under her breath. Her stance was on defense. She knew that her husband was right, and that it's dangerous here outside, but she's certain that Astrid can't find her if she doesn't come and help.

She haven't seen her daughter for almost a month, and she was craving to see her face and touch her arms, hug her right, and kiss her cheek. She can't do that if Astrid is not by her side, and she can be in danger.

She noticed something lying down in the middle of the road, abandoned. It was strangely familiar, it caused Lia to have goosebumps on her arms that trailed up to her back. She walked towards the object, speeding up when she recognized it.

"My gun," she gently caressed the surface of the pistol. "Astrid doesn't know about this, though." she assumed that she just dove deep into the house. Nevertheless, she's got an indicator that her daughter is actually in the same place as her, and that her gut is right. Her knees wobbled as she tried to get up. Chuckling under her breath, she slid the weapon in her pocket, hoping that she'll find her daughter as she followed her trail.

Yeonmi has told her about this. At that moment, she was too naive and she denied all her friend's claims. She never wanted to lose her only child. She knew that she could've protected her, even if it changed everybody's fate. She was selfish enough to runaway from the root of the world ending, why can't she be selfish again and save her daughter?

Her best friend, her lifetime friend whom she didn't believe in, was now away from her touch too. Yeonmi was never wrong, why can't she just believe her at that moment? The woman that treated her as her own sister, her own blood, her own family, was now also in vain because of her. Yeonmi was alone, trying her best to save the world even if it cost her everything, because Lia had failed to do her important task.

Blaming herself seemed like her only relief. It's the only thing that made her feel human. It stings. The only thing she can feel is pain. Pain, agony, hopelessness, she's already broken.

She was so selfish, again, that she's now trying to find her daughter, she has no guarantee to be alive, yet here she is, hoping that her only sunshine is breathing and well. She's roaming around an abandoned place, while her husband is sleeping at their hotel unit not knowing that she sneaked out.

Her experience at the facility should've made her stronger, smarter, and more logical, but it seems like all of her memories were now just washed out as she focused on her current life. All of the tears she had shed, all of the sweat she wiped off, all of the words she had to take, it was all useless, because she made it that way.

She heard a car catch up behind her. The sound it made, which was from the engines, pointed out that the car is probably too old and worn out to be in use, but she paid no attention.

She paid no attention, not until she saw a brown flash beside her, blowing her hair all over the place, not until she stood frozen on her feet, mouth agape, recalling what she'd just saw, not until she came running after the vehicle, trying match it's speed, not until she collapsed, crying on her knees while the car already got away.

Because she just saw a very familiar palm banging on the car window.