I Told The Stars About You

I Bet on Losing Dogs

-Dalton-

It's night, It's dark. I just want to be home and take care of my mother. It seems like taking care of her is always the way I cope. Which is stupid, she throws empty bottles of wine at me and I take care of her still, how hopeless. It's pathetic.

Andrew's face hurt, I didn't mean to say anything. I hurted him, it's my fault, I just hope he can forgive me.

The entrance door saluted me when I arrived at my house, my kegs sore from walking so long. Panting and gasping, I took my keys out of my pocket and opened the door, and found my mother laying on her back on the floor, bubbling saliva slipping out of her mouth.

I could feel my heart doing backflips, my stomach empty.

I walk towards her, closing the door behind me.

I kneel in front of her head, place my hand in her shoulder in an attempt to wake her up, however, she doesn't budge. I shake her violently now. No response, "Mom?.."

I checked her breathing but it was no use. "Mom! Wake up! Please wake up!" hot tears ran through my face, I checked her pulse first by grabbing her wrist, but I couldn't find anything, I moved my hand to her neck, I felt nothing.

"F-Fuck...Mom! Mommy! Please don't go yet! I can get you help!" my words are useless, I take my phone out and dial 911, still a little hopeful for her life to rise again.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"My mom! She... I think she is dead! She has bubbles on her mouth... her eyes are closed... Please help me!"

My whaling interrupted my words, surely the lady on the other line didn't understand my words.

"Alright I need you to calm down, I need your address."

I took a deep breath.

"It's... Quinto's street... number 33... turquoise color house..."

"Help is on the way. Do you need me to stay on line?"

I shaked my head as if she could see me.

"No thank you."

I hang up.

Still kneeled with her I continue crying, for no reason at all but for grief. "Mom... Mommy... I'm sorry, I love you mom."

"I'm sorry for yelling at you! I love you mom! Mommy! Mommy..!" I grab her small hand and place it on my cheek, leaving small kisses on it. "I love you mom..."

I could see my tears dropping on her face and hand.

It's like all I could say was 'I love you' even if I didn't mean it. Did she know I didn't mean it? Does she hate me for it?

I go and sit still on the couch, looking around the room I find empty bottles of pills, and halfway empty bottles of alcohol she left behind.

It seemed like that shit was more precious to her than I could ever be. Then why does it hurt so much? 

Sitting in silence, my phone rings, I see the contact name and it hurts more. So I turn off my phone.

Moments later the ambulance, it was stupid that they even were here, she was already dead.

...

Dalton hides his face with his hands, uncontrollable sobs leave his mouth, along with tears, it made his head pound. He cried for hours, more than he should.