I Told The Stars About You

The Healing Process Is A Long One

-Andrew-

It starts to rain. I'm finally standing on my two feet, outside Dalton's house, I just closed the front door. And it starts to rain.

I enjoy rain, but right now I don't like the rain. It's not even raining hard, just a light rain that happens mid day. It's not mid day, it's 1 in the morning, and I'm outside. Why am I outside? What was I going to do? Why do I have this backpack with me?

Perhaps I should just walk. Walk where? Walk home. But, I'm already home... Dalton said we will live together, so this is my home... Where is he anyway? I've been calling him around the house and he just does not answer. Maybe he's out with Blair and Ayan. He told me he would go out with them today, or was that yesterday?

It's still raining, surprisingly it's not thundering. It's now raining hard, I should go home, but this is my home... this is my home, Dalton's here, so this is my home... Dalton...

"I think the flowers will be really happy," I said, "The rain will make the grass wet, so we'll have to wait until tomorrow to watch the stars."

"Sorry Dalton..." I see a black car go by, it reminds me of Dalton, he would like that car since he likes black. I don't think he has a drivers license, I don't even think he knows how to drive.

My legs give a step forward, a step away from Dalton's front step, the entrance of the house. It stung a little, physically, I felt like a needle had stung me in my forearm. Then I felt like millions of tiny needles had stung me in the chest. I didn't pay attention to it, I didn't care and I didn't mind the pain.

Finally, I walked, it was like my body moved on it's own, like I didn't have the enough strength to make my own body move, so it moved on it's own. It was nice, somewhat liberating. It started to rain even harder and I was beginning to worry about the things I kept in the backpack. So I stopped walking and turned the backpack around, then wrapped my arms around it, hugging it close to my chest. I could smell Dalton lightly.

I continued walking. The rain poured down on me, making my hair wet, making drops of water roll down my face. I felt sudden chills when the wind would woosh. My heart would fasten just a little, then my body would get cold just enough to make my throat sore, just a little.

I don't know if I'm getting any closer to home. I was just home a minute ago... I think I'm getting closer to home. I was home just a minute ago... Dalton will be home and ask where I am... I need to... I need... 

I started to feel dizzy, my legs started to feel weaker and weaker at every step I took. My head began to feel heavy, so heavy as if it was going to fall off. My feet, they ache, I want to sit down.

My body began to stumble, side to side as if I was a drunk, a silly drunk. "Fuck," my head wobbled back, and with that my whole body fell.

But I didn't. I was waiting for my body to hit the wet cold ground but it didn't. My eyes were closed. I could just hear the echo of some voice saying my name, many times. I kept my eyes closed, I couldn't open them.

"Andrew, Andrew, Andrew get up, Andrew wake up!..."

The voice was incredibly irritating, it was interrupting me from my sleep. Am I even sleeping? The voice kept yelling, that's all I could hear. It was like I was in a blank space and it was all soundproof around me, but I could hear the voice. The voice just kept yelling, I only wanted to sleep, it was strangely peaceful.

There was this strange feeling of peace, I felt this aura, this familiar aura. I felt comforted, It reminded me of him. I felt happy. Perhaps it was that I was holding a backpack with all his belongings but I started to see him, very faintly. I could see him looking at me like he used to, he wasn't smiling but he wasn't frowning either, it was almost like a look of approval, or comfort. Whatever it was, it made my heart swell and almost made me cry, though I didn't feel like crying anymore.