the dreamies | nct dream

16

mark loved being the dad friend, he loved to see how his boys grew. how they all found love, how he found love, how jeno got healthy again and jaemin turned into a great father, how renjun became a famous painter, donghyuck became someone they all admired for his pure confidence, how chenle became a great boyfriend for a recovering jisung, and how jisung was recovering. 

but, he was still mark. mark lee, first born to minho and yeji lee, the boy who left the only happiness in his life for drugs and gangs, he never spoke to his parents anymore, he was a dissapointment. 

he didn't know how to talk to his parents after betraying their trust, choosing drugs over them, he knew they were family, and that blood was thicker than water, but he also knew, 

he would drown in either. 

"markie?" johnny  called, peeking his head out the door into the back alley where mark was sitting until his shift started.

"yeah, johnny-hyung?" mark faked a smile, it was exhausting but he couldn't show that he was so close to breaking. 

"jaemin-ah was wondering if you could cover his shift, he had a long and rough night." johnny sighed, jaemin never missed work so he couldn't really say the boy didnt deserve it. 

"yeah, sure." mark commented, him and jaemin's shifts only differed by three hours of the 7 hour day, three extra hours wouldn't hurt anyone. 

so here mark was, he was going to start his shift in 10 minutes at 6 a.m. and his shift would end at 3:00 p.m. normally however since he was taking on jaemin's shift (9:00 a.m-6:00 p.m.) he was now working a 10 hour day. 

it was fine though. 

it wasn't fine. 

"you doing okay, mark?" johnny asked, the older had always been like a brother to mark. there was only one thing the they both hated about their relationship, johnny is the one who introduced mark to drugs that one night, neither knew it would spiral into what it did. 

"yeah, of course hyung! why wouldn't i?" mark faked another smile, he was sweating buckets in the back, working in the kitchen for these last three hours until 6:00 p.m. 

"you've been working for 9 hours straight, there is only an hour left on jaemin's shift, jae and i can cover it." johnny said, looking at the younger. 

"exactly, there is only one hour left. i'll be fine, besides you didn't answer my question." mark teased, putting a pizza on the counter for the waitress, abbie to pick up. 

"jae, cover the kitchen for a minute i have to talk with markie." johnny smiled, pulling the younger into the back alley, where they had talked several hours earlier. 

it took everything in mark to not breakdown the minute they got outside and johnny looked at him. he had had a shit day, and it was edging him closer and closer to the edge. 

"talk to me, markie. you don't look like yourself...are the voices bothering you again?" johnny asked, pulling the younger down as they sat on the rocky ground. 

mark hesitated, did he lie? johnny would have his eyes on mark constantly, helicopter parenting the four year younger if he told the truth, but the more mark thinks about it he would probably do it either way. and dammit johnny knew how to get the boy to open up. 

"yeah...yeah they are, hyungie." mark nodded, he may despise johnny for how good of a hyung he was but he was also greatful, it's where he learned it from. it's why he knew how to take care of the dreamies. and although he was to stubborn to let the dreamies help him, he knew that they would. 

"why didn't you tell me? or hyuck?" johnny asked, pulling the smaller in for a hug. 

mark rested his head on johnny's shoulder, "they all have so much going on, hyung. and i'm not a little kid anymore, i thought i could deal with it by myself." he explained, tears brimming. 

"adult or not. addiction isn't something that should be dealt with alone." johnny said lightly. letting the young candian male cry into his chest, "and even if the dreamies had their own problems, they would do anything for you. just like you would do anything for them." 

"but i'm their hyung...i should be the one helping them." 

"hyung or not, they would do anything for you. you know i go to jae a lot when i have problems, and he helps me even though i'm two years older. there is nothing wrong with a hyung needing help." johnny smiled sadly, petting the sobbing boys hair. 

"it's so hard, hyung. when-when i found jisung rolling on molly, it was so hard to be responsible, to pick him up and take him home instead of asking him for some. it's all i ever think about, i've never been in a sober relationship, how do i act? how do i be a sober hyung and a sober dongsaeng? it's just-it's just so hard when the voices are always calling, and everywhere i go someone is smoking, or vaping, or smell like weed. it's so tempting...and i don't know how to control it." mark ranted into johnny's chest. johnny was shocked, mark had never opened up so much. 

"it's okay mark, how about you go to a drug addicts anonnymous with jaehyun on thursday?" johnyy suggested, no one other then him and sicheng knew that jaehyun went to 'daa' but this was to important to care. 

"o-okay. i'll talk to hyung about it, i didn't know he was like me....i should have jisungie go to." mark commented. 

"see you are a great hyung."