Mentally Broken

13

Chapter song: I Need A Doctor by Dr. Dre, Eminem, and Skylar Grey
-Tuesday, 7am-
Mia actually got some sleep last night. She hasn't slept this much in a while. I'm happy for her. She needs it.
When she wakes up, she stirs a bit, then flutters her eyes open.
"Justin?" she mumbles and turns her head to look at me.
"Hm?" I shift my eyes to her, but the voices still occupy most of my attention. Her eyes are still full of tiredness and sadness. Honestly, I wish it'd all just go away. But she wouldn't be in this place if her eyes had happiness instead.
"What time is it?" she uses my lap to push herself into a sitting position.
"...7am," I glance at the clock on the wall to answer her question.
"You didn't sleep?" Her dark eyebrows furrow in concern.
"N-No," I wait painfully for her to point out something bad about my lack of sleep.
"Are you tired?" she seems worried about me, but I don't want her to be.
"Not r-really." At least I don't feel tired. I just feel lifeless. My energy is low, but staying awake is better than being tormented in my sleep.
"...Thank you," she hugs me out of nowhere, taking me by surprise.
"...N-No p-problem," I'm guessing she's thanking me, for what again? I forgot what happened last night. I'm sure if I think hard enough I'll remember, but the voices are already giving me hell about it. So I hug back, trying to be gentle since I can feel her bones through her clothes. I'm afraid I might break her.

We hear someone shout, and I'm guessing it's breakfast time. Eventually Mia and I break the hug and walk out the door. I go towards the men's bathroom as she goes to the girls' bathroom. It's the same shit everyday. There's nothing new.
"Hey Justin," Za catches up with me in the hall.
"...Hey," I smile as friendly as possible.
"Mind if I join you guys for breakfast?" he waits in line behind me.
"I don't m-mind," I continue to hold my smile.
"Thanks," he nods appreciatively. "So you and Mia..." he smirks coolly, and I smile shyly at his comment. "Are you guys up to something?" he flicks his eyebrows, making me feel sheepish.
"...N-Not that I know of." It's sort of a lie, but I don't want to disrespect Mia's privacy by giving out secrets.
"C'mon, you can't tell me you aren't feeling a little something," Za's clearly amused by my shyness.
"...Maybe a l-little," I blush slightly. It's not like I'm obsessing over her. She's my closest friend. Plus, ever since my ex-girlfriend, I don't think I should be in love. Not to mention, I'm crazy in the head. I'm too fucked up to love anyone. And I'm too fucked up for anyone to love me.

Za chuckles from our conversation; then it's my turn to use the bathroom. I take a cold shower, brush my teeth, wash my face, then leave. I wait for Mia in the hallway. I have a feeling that she's going to do something bad. She really wants to kill herself.
"Thanks for waiting," Mia must've taken a shower, because her dark hair is damp.
I nod as we walk into the cafeteria. I send Jake a death glare on our way to get food. He only chuckles, making Mia flip him off. That's when he stops laughing. I smile at Mia, and she giggles. The voices are homicidal. They want me to kill him. But I know better now. It only takes one murder to learn your lesson.
When we sit down with our food, Za joins us like he said he would.
"Hey Mia," Za greets her welcomely.
"Hi," she smiles shyly at him.
"What's up?" he's eating cereal too, except it's Lucky Charms.
"Not much," she shrugs and rolls her apple across the table. To help her out, I take it and start eating it.
"Yeah, there's not much to do in here anyway," Za speaks out of boredom.
"You're right," Mia smiles weakly, glancing at the table.
"Hey, I want to introduce you to one of my friends. His name is Khalil. I don't know if he's here today. He has to go to therapy a lot. I'm sure you'll like him," Za pushes his empty bowl to the side.
"He sounds nice. I can't wait to meet him," Mia agrees, shifting her eyes back at him.
"So what are you guys in here for?" Za changes the subject. Why not tell him? Everyone in here has the same-related problems.
"U-Unusual behavior," I don't have to explain to him what's so unusual about my behavior. I'm sure he knows already too.
"Suicide attempt," Mia mumbles uneasily, fiddling with her sleeves.
"Drug abuse and depression," Za confesses in the same manner.
"...I'm sure you...don't belong here either," I mutter knowingly, because I don't see how anyone deserves to be in a place like this.
"I don't think I do, but people are assholes sometimes," Za shrugs, visibly annoyed with this place as well. I finish Mia's apple before the nurse arrives at our table, and I place the apple core in front her. We take our pills as the nurse scans the table, checking our food, assuring we ate. Soon enough, she walks away and so does the tension.
"Well, it was nice hanging with you guys. I should go. My room mate is waiting for me," he smiles friendly before leaving. Breakfast is just about over, so we go into the meeting room.