Mentally Broken

27

-7am-
I have to pull away from Mia, because a nurse could come in at any minute to serve us breakfast. As carefully as possible, I cautiously carry Mia to the bed and set her down; then I sit back against the wall.
"Here's your breakfast." Just as I thought, a nurse walks in with two trays. She's about to wake Mia up, but I stop her.
"...I-I'll wake her," I stand up, hiding my inner struggles with the voices. "No touching," the nurse points a stern finger at me. I nod silently as she leaves. I don't wake Mia up. She needs to sleep. I'm not going to eat until Mia wakes up. In the meantime, I remain wordlessly in my mind.

I really thought this plan was going to work. I didn't think the door would be locked. Now, we're in this stupid room, isolated from everything. There has to be another way out. There HAS to be. I remember the basement at the end of the stairway. That might be a way out. I don't even know if it was a basement or not. I'm not going to try anything. I'll just keep that thought in mind, because I'm scared to think of being a bigger failure than I am.
"Justin," Mia wakes up and mumbles tiredly, turning my way. "...Hey," I smile as friendly as I can without exposing how mentally tired I am. To be honest, it's not easy. To be honest, nothing's easy anymore.
"Is everything ok?" she blankly yet emotionally looks around the room. Her dark hair drapes over her hollow cheeks. As sick as she looks, I don't think she really cares nor feels it.
"...For now...I guess. I-It's just you and me," I stand back up and sit beside her. "Better than being alone," she sits up and hugs me, taking me by surprise. I flinch, because I didn't see it coming, but I eventually get comfortable with her bony affection.
"I guess we're stuck here for a while," she softly kisses my cheek and runs her stick fingers through my hair.
"Too b-bad...we can't brush our t-teeth," I want to kiss her, probably as much as she wants to kiss me. I want a mental escape, just like she does.
"We can rinse our mouths with water," she must've seen the bottled waters on the tray. "W-We c-could," I get up with her and grab a water bottle. We gurgle and swish the water in our mouths, then spit it out into the trash can. We repeat until our mouths feel clean enough to kiss with. That's when our lips meet, and we hold each other close. I love this feeling, even though it makes me uneasy. I'll never completely be ok with touching people, but Mia's my only exception. I love her. Everything feels better with her. I'm in a different world, a more peaceful world, when I'm with her. Our lips are meant for each other. I can't stress enough about loving her. I want every inch of her body. I just want her.
"Justin, we're not going to give up. We're getting out of here even if it kills us," Mia kisses me and strokes my hair. I love it when she does that. "I'll be r-right by y-your side, Mia," I gently hold her waist, careful not to trigger her cuts.
(Mia's pov)
-9am-
My mouth is numb from kissing Justin. We kissed for a good 10-15 minutes. It's just something that gives me peace. I didn't plan it out. I just went with it. Now, we're sitting on the floor against the wall, waiting for something that'll never happen.
"Hey, you two are too close," a lady walks in and gives us a stern glare. It's the same nurse that stalked me to death. Shit.

Justin and I aren't even 3 feet near each other, but I have no choice but to move on back to my bed.
"I'm your speaker today. I heard you two tried to escape last night. What is that all about?" the nurse asks strictly, but all she gets is silence as an answer.
"Do you have ears? Answer me?!" she raises her voice, making both me and Justin flinch. "We hate it here," I glare coldly at her to defend me and Justin. "We don't care if you hate it or not. You have to stay here," she snaps at me in hardness.
"For how long? Some people aren't curable. And by the way that you're treating people, they're only getting worse," I grow angry, because using passive aggression only makes patients feel worse about themselves. That's what this hospital is doing.
"You better shut your mouth, young lady," the nurse points a finger at me, but I just hold my glare. "Now, I'm not here to argue. I'm here to explain to you what a horrible decision you've made," she scolds me and Justin. I mentally roll my eyes.
"You two are nothing but trouble. We don't like trouble, so unless you want to be transferred to a different hospital, I suggest you stop. I don't care if you like it or not. You do as we tell you no matter the situation..." the nurse speaks with harshness as Justin's living in a different world.
"You, sir, need to stop talking to the floor. It's not a living thing..." the nurse gets onto Justin for whispering, but he gives her no attention.
"Hey! I'm talking to yo—" "He can't help it. Leave him the hell alone!" I defend Justin before he gets hurt. He has already broken out of his thoughts, and the helplessness in his eyes makes me sad.
"And why are you talking? You need to get over your little emotional phase and quit wasting our time," the nurse shoots bitterly at me. Is she saying my depression is a phase?
"That's enough for today. No touching, or I'm moving you to separate rooms," the nurse threatens before leaving us with our dangerous minds. I start to cry, because I'm sick of everyone thinking that I'm doing this for attention. I'm not. I really do feel like I'm nobody. I really do want to die.
Justin's crying too. I know he can't help his problem even if he wanted to. And for the nurse to talk to him like that, it only makes things worse, intensifying the suicidal thoughts. I move back next to Justin and shed tears with him. I cry on his shoulder as he cries in his sleeves. Our cries soon fade into a deadly silence. Now, it's just sniffling and deep breathing.

(A/N: sooo tired. Omg I'm about to collapse I'm so exhausted. I just want Friday to come, so I can hear Justin's new song! Next post is Friday or Saturday)