Mentally Broken

33

Chapter song: Terrible Love by Birdy
-3am-
(Mia's pov)
Justin and I prepare for our second attempt to break out of this mental hospital. I'm nervous as fuck. I still can't shake the thought of Katie and Za, how they're dead. I just want to cry for days. I've already cried for hours, but it's somehow not enough.
"...Do the s-same p-plan as last...time," Justin murmurs to me as our anxieties collide to form a big mess. I nod with a racing heart and pretend to have to use the bathroom. The nurse at the desk eyes me strictly until I disappear down the hallway. Justin's at my feet, crawling as I walk.
We reach the stairwell and quietly shut the door behind us. Just like I recall, it's pitch black. I keep a grip on Justin's shoulder, so I don't get lost or accidentally stumble.
Our footsteps succeed at being soft and cautious, but anxiety contaminates our lungs.
When all is still and we take the last step, Justin intertwines our fingers and leads me through complete darkness.
We tiptoe with small steps until I hear a quiet clink, which makes my front teeth dig into my bottom lip to the point of bleeding.

"I think I found a door," Justin's whisper sounds just as shaken as my head. There's a click, then silence; then Justin pulls, causing his back muscles to flex, then there's a creaking sound. The creaking breaks into another silence; then Justin steps further in, making my feet remember what they're made for, walking.
Justin and I walk for a while until he halts, sending my heart to the floor.
"...M-More stairs," he whispers, barely audible. I become hopeful yet terrified of what we're doing and where we're going.
Finally, we reach the top of the stairs to meet another door. This door faces upward above us. There's poor lighting from in between the cracks, and the temperature drops to where I notice how the floor I'm standing on is like ice. Justin pushes up and the door opens. A strong, violent wind hits me, making me shiver.
"...C'mon," Justin helps me out, his hands clasped around my arms. The ground feels cold and icy against my feet. A thin layer of ice and snow coats the ground. I don't care. Nothing could be as miserable as staying in that hell-hole.
"Where are we?" I whisper while hugging myself for warmth. "I-I think we're outside...like, really outside, p-past the gates," Justin gazes in front of him. I do the same thing to find us outside the hospital grounds.
"We did it," I breathe out in amazement. Suddenly, a siren wails and lights begin flashing around, sort of like a prison.
Then Justin and I burst into a run. We run across streets and into alleys until ours breaths are short. We run until our bare feet are cut up and scraped to—what feels like—the bone.
"We need to get out of town before they send out a search party," Justin seems more anxious than me, and he's heaving. I merely nod; then Justin and I sit behind a garbage bin. "How are we gonna get out of town?" I examine my feet, which are drenched in blood. I don't feel the pain, probably because I'm numb from the cold. "I-I...Fuck," Justin's panicking a bit as he heaves in his hands. "Hey Justin. It's ok. We're gonna get out somehow," I rub his back comfortingly as I try to think of a way out of this.

"There's a school not too far from here. There's a clinic and a place to sleep in there," I suggest while stroking Justin's neck. He nods in agreement but no understanding; then we stand up on the rough asphalt and start walking.
-4am-
When we reach the school, I'm able to find an open window, through which we enter into the building. It's so silent, but the building warms me up better than any place I've been in. Holding Justin's hand, I walk quietly through the hallway, our bloody feet leaving red footprints behind. It doesn't bother me, the pain or evidence, because we'll be long gone before anyone sees the blood.
"I found the nurse's office," I pull Justin into the small room as I start searching cabinets. There's plenty of bandages and medicine to support our injuries. I even found several pairs of socks for us to wear. So Justin and I repair ourselves. Not long after finishing, I spot the small bed in the corner of the room. It reminds me of how tired I am, how ready I am to collapse. "C'mon. Let's rest," I slide into the small bed and pull the thin wool blanket over myself. Oh, this is so much better than the hospital. Justin lies beside me, so I can hold him close and rest on his shoulder.
To be honest, I'm scared of what comes after this. I don't know where to go. We can't escape through a bus or train, because we're too suspicious. The only way is to sneak out by night, which still could be risky. This escape plan seemed so simple back at the hospital, but now that we've traveled this far it's harder than I thought. Somehow, I just know we're going to get out of this. We're going to go to a better place, where it's safe, and we can live without judgment.
-10am-
This is the latest I've ever slept, and it feels good; however, I don't think Justin slept much. He's whispering a little and staring at the ceiling. "Hey, is everything ok?" I touch his hand, holding it carefully. "...Y-Yeah," he murmurs and narrows his eyes. "Do you want to see what they have in the cafeteria?" I sit up, studying the room, which remains how we left it. Justin merely nods before sitting up as well. "Thank you," I move beside him, wrapping my arm around his shoulders. He nods again, unsure of what I'm thanking him for. It's ok, as long as he knows I'm thankful for him.

We make our way to the cafeteria, where we find some cereal and crackers and basically anything except fruit and dairy. Justin gets a granola bat this time, and I nibble on a couple crackers.
"We should hide before the cops find us," I insist, thinking about how loud the alarms were last night at the hospital. It'd be stupid if nobody sent out a search party for a couple of mentally insane patients running around the city, causing trouble and freaking people out. That just won't do, will it? I mean, we're such huge threats to other people, right? I'm being sarcastic.

"Let's hide in the teachers lounge," I take Justin's hand and lead him into a small room. It's small enough to fit about 20 people, and there's not much space to hide. But that's good, because this room will not get checked as closely. "C'mere," I pull a big desk against the wall, where both of us are able to sit under. "This'll work. It's ok," I comfort Justin, because I know he's anxious. He just nods again. "I'm scared too," I cup his face in my hands before kissing him passionately. He kisses back and pulls me on top of his lap. We proceed to make out under the desk, giving each other love to keep our hearts beating. Affection sinks into my skin from the pressure of Justin's fingers. Everything that's happened since last night doesn't haunt me as much as it did before. Hopefully, Justin feels the same way.
-8pm-
Police have looked for us in this school, including this room, but we've remained hidden. It's a miracle actually, because they have dogs that have our scents. They're gone now. I haven't heard footsteps for hours.
"Ok, we need to get out of here because school starts tomorrow," I hold Justin's hand as I speak. "Do you have any ideas?" I don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared. "...I-I know...a-a building," he finally speaks while fidgeting. "Let's go there," I take the chance without hesitation. Any place works for me, because we need to get out before things end up worse. Justin and I come out from under the desk to realize that it's getting dark. Holding Justin's arm, I look for a side door. When I find one, we quietly sneak out, alert and vigilant for anyone. I follow Justin, placing my trust in him to lead me to the place he was talking about.
Justin pulls me into an old, abandoned building. It looks like a torn down apartment building. However, it's still warmer and safer than being hidden under a desk in the teachers lounge.
"Justin, what do we do?" I look at him while we take the stairs to the very top of the building. "I-I guess w-we hide up here." We reach an empty, hollow room. It's dirty and abandoned, but it'll do.
"Don't worry, Mia. I want you to sleep," Justin hugs me and lets me sleep close to his body. It doesn't make a difference. I'm cold either way. I close my eyes but the fear remains stitched to my heart.
(A/N: Lol I actually like the name of my Instagram backup account better than my current one😳 Y'all have a great weekend. Love you)