Mentally Broken

35

(Justin's pov)
Chapter song: Follow You by BMTH
We're gonna get out of here.
"Tell me how people treated you at school. Tell me everything you haven't said before," I keep my hand in hers and my body close as she looks at me in dreariness.
"You really wanna hear that?"
Mia murmurs with her lifeless eyes looking at the floor. I nod and signal her to open her mouth.
"Well, everyone always hated me, but I never understood why. They'd make side comments or laugh at me, but I never figured out what was wrong with me. Back then, my dad was still alive, and my family was more whole. My dad always wanted something more from me, but I never could satisfy him. My mom always liked my older sister, Ellie, better than me. She'd buy her things, help her out with schoolwork; she never paid much attention to me. Ellie would always tease me and bring me down, because I was a loser. I tried. I really did. I worked so hard to make other people happy, but nothing happened. Then my dad died. Everything went downhill after that. I failed at literally everything. I even started a fight with this girl, and that made everything attack me at once. I guess I've always been suicidal, but I never actually tried to kill myself until I was twelve years into it. I failed every time too. That's why I'm still alive. I don't know what went wrong, Justin. I'm just not meant for this world. I wasn't made to live. I might as well have died the second I was born. I don't wanna feel anything. I'm tired of trying so hard to make everyone happy, because I will never be enough for anyone. I'm miserable here, Justin," Mia starts crying again but not as hard. I still squeeze her hand to ease her anguish.
"I-I understand, Mia. You're not the only one who feels like this," I mutter as she squeezes my hand back. I don't know what to say anymore.
We're suicidal, and it's permanent in our hearts,
-3pm-
We're in some pretty deep shit right now. There are a couple people outside. They know we're in here,
Mia's freaking out, and I can't calm her,
"Justin, we're not gonna make it," she keeps repeating to me, but I know we will make it. I know we will.
"We know you're up there, kids. Can you come down here?" a male voce speaks on a microphone. I hear sirens and see flashing lights. But I have faith.
"Don't make us come up there," the guy sounds controlling and strict and careless about what we feel. You know what? Fuck him. "Fuck all of them." They can lock us up in a room for as long as they want. They can cut us open, search us for a reason why we're so fucked up. They can diagnose us as threats to society. They can overdose us on every kind of anti-depressant. They can fill our ears with every therapists' words.
"But we will never be fixed. nothing can help us." What's the chance we will survive? Is there any hope for us? What's the reason why we're like this?
I can't answer that. All I know is that we need to get out before things get fucked.
"Justin, what do we do?" Mia's cries break through my thoughts. I've made up my mind.
"Mia, look at me," I grip her shoulders and look deeply into her teary eyes.

"They're not going to leave us alone. there's only one way out, but you have to answer me this...Are you happy here?" I search for a hint of doubt in her teary eyes. She shakes her head, no.

"Is there anything here that you want?" Mia shakes her head, no.

"Do you trust me?" Mia nods her head, yes. I'm sure she can read my mind. She knows what's about to happen.
I lead her higher up the building, to the roof.
"Alright, one more chance. Come down, kids. We're not going to hurt you," the guy speaks, but we ignore him.

When we reach the roof, the air means nothing. There's a crowd of people watching the building. We kneel down to keep ourselves unseen, because being seen is not part of the plan.
"There's nothing here for us, Mia. We can't stay here. Don't be scared. Keep your eyes closed. I've got you, ok?" I hold both of her hands and squeeze them. Mia nods and gives me a look that tells me she's sure. She's never been so sure in her life.
"I love you." And I kiss her for the last time on this planet.
"I love you too," Mia kisses back; then we intertwine fingers.
We stand up and look around at the worthlessness around us.
This is it. Happiness awaits for us, just 20 feet away. Goodbye.
We run, eyes closed, hand in hand, off the ledge. I feel the air engulf me, the coldness against my face and through my hair. I squeeze Mia's hand as I feel my stomach churn from falling. I hold my breath. I keep my eyes closed while I wait for my death.
-
And then I finally meet it, and It's all I ever wanted.

(Ahh! It's the last chapter. Omg the story is finished! 😓😪😭Any final thoughts? Sorry for the terrible ending. I cried myself. It's so weird, even though I'm the one who wrote it😫 I'm gonna be posting Deadly in Love for a while until I get the next story ready. Love you!!)