Mentally Broken

26

Chapter song: Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
"Mia Smith!" a nurse calls in a shout, making my heart fall all the way down to the first floor.
"Ugh, wish me luck," I give Justin a secret squeeze on his hand, then reluctantly walk into the cafeteria. Once again, I see my mom and sister. They look perfectly fine without me. Distantly, I sit in front of them and glare coldly, mostly my sister. She glares right back.
"Mia, how are you, sweetie?" Mom breaks the raging silence between us all. "Take a guess," I snap in anger. "I know you're upset, Mia. Please trust me that this place will help you," Mom's response makes me chuckle out of how ridiculous she is. "Help me? Do I look any better? I sure don't feel like it," I glare with pure coldness. "She's just saying that, because she wants to get out," Ellie just has to open her fucking mouth. "Fuck you—" "Mia," Mom gives me a desperate look, but I'm not having it. She makes me feel like I'm the one that out of control. I'm not. It's them.
"I'm just warning you that if you ever visit me again, I will either not come out...or I'll be dead." And with that said I flip them off and leave. I hate them so much. My sister is who really pisses me off. She's gonna be sorry for everything when I'm gone. Or maybe she won't. Who cares. I don't, because in the end I'm the one who'll be happy. I'm one who'll be dead.

"H-How'd it go?" Justin asks softly when I return. "Terrible. I don't ever want to see them again," I mutter irritably. "Well...you can always hide next time," Justin suggests lightheartedly, but there's nothing lighthearted about his voice nor his eyes. "Yeah, I could," I nod and keep my distance from him, so nobody will get onto us for touching. "There are n-nurses everywhere...we can't do much," Justin speaks, sounding less shaky but more anxious.
"I know," I don't want to take the risk of getting caught, especially when we have escape plans for tonight.
-7pm-
(Justin's pov)
Dinner just ended, and both Mia and I are nervous about tonight. I hope this plan works, because I'm tired of this place. I want to get out, feel the actual air. I want to smell something other than hand sanitizer and cleaning wipes. I want to taste something other than bitter medicine and artificial sugar from cereal. I want to hear something other than metal against metal, intoxicated step after intoxicated step, voice after voice. It all gives me a headache.
I take a shower and wash up; then I walk out and to our room. Mia's here this time, thankfully. I've somehow convinced myself that Jake is gone. Violating someone's personal space, especially since it was a boy on girl incident, is one of the main rules. Plus, he made both physical and sexual activity. They probably sent him to jail for rape.
"Mia...you ok?" I have to ask her. I know she's hurt by Jake, and I have to hear what's on her mind.
"To be honest, it's uncomfortable and my head hurts," Mia confesses, using her hair as a hiding place. The most I can do is hold her, so that's what I do.
"...I-I wish I could help you...but I'm not much," I speak with sadness for her. I love her. I love her more than I've ever loved anything in years. Yes, I loved my ex-girlfriend, but the love was dead and fake. I was desperate back then. She didn't give me much to love about her. And I gave her everything.
"You're everything," Mia pulls me close and rests on my lap, where I stroke her dark hair.
"...We'll go at 2am," I tell her quietly as she flutters her eyelashes in exhaustion.
"Ok," Mia whispers from my lap. We remain silent and in our separate rooms of thoughts. I want to talk to her about my mom, about my suicidal thoughts. But I feel like it's not a good topic right now. I'm sure Mia wants to sleep.
-2am-
I wake up Mia, and we are standing at the door. I'm a nervous wreck, and Mia has her lip beneath her front teeth.
"Let's go...Carefully." The plan is for Mia to pretend to be needing the bathroom while I duck out of sight.
Mia nods, then opens the bedroom door. She walks out, and I stay walking under the counter of the desk.
"May I ask what you are doing up at this time?" the nurse at the desk asks her in an unfriendly manner.
"I need to use the bathroom," Mia responds simply and continues walking. She walks until we reach the elevator. That's when both of us sneak into the stairway, which is only meant for employees. It's dark and quiet as our footsteps echo through the whole stairway. The only light we have is a lonely lightbulb per floor.

Sometimes the whole floor is dark, because a lightbulb is out, but that doesn't stop us. Our breaths are short and nervous. Mia is anxiously shaking every time I glance at her. My mouth is dry, and my head is jumping from the anxiety. Step by step, we use the rail as our only guide. Finally, we reach the last floor. There's one more staircase left, but I think that's just a basement. I slowly crack open the door to see the front desk and the front door. My heart leaps at the sight of how close we are to the outdoors. I would suggest we go out that way, but the lady at the desk would see us and report it. Plus, there are locked gates with codes that I have no clue at.

Mia and I slowly and quietly crawl past the front desk and in through the storage room door. Mia squeezes my arm in nervousness. Immediately, we see the back door. I cautiously take Mia's hand and lead her to the door.
"Hey! Where are you two going?! Get back here!" a female voice shouts so suddenly. Fuck. It's the front desk lady. I panic and make a run for it with Mia's hand in mine. But when I get to the door, it's locked. Oh, fuck me.
"Maybe next time," the lady grabs both of our arms and yanks us out.
"Dammit," Mia whispers, and I can see tears filling her eyes. Ugh, so fucking close. I know we're in for some big trouble. The lady calls a nurse down to get us. Man, this sucks.
"What is wrong with you? Trying to escape? You should be ashamed of yourselves," a nurse pulls us in through the big metal door, then locks it tightly. Mia and I are pulled harshly into an elevator.
"You two are going to serve time in the quiet room. How does that sound?" the nurse speaks with coldness. I don't open my mouth and neither does Mia.
"That's what I thought." The elevator door opens, and we're led out into an empty hallway.
"This'll teach you two a lesson," the nurse pushes us into a bare, cold room, and we hear a click, meaning she just locked it. We're in the quiet room.
I sigh and turn to Mia. She looks like she's about to cry.
"Mia...I-I'm sorry," I uneasily hug her; then she breaks on me, like she did yesterday.
"I just want to get out of here," she cries into me, and I sit against the wall and hold her. She cries and cries, and I can't do anything to put her back together. Anything I do or say right now will either hurt her or hurt me.

(A/N: My throat still hurts and I feel like crap, but I'm going to school tomorrow bc I already missed Friday. As for you guys, I hope you have a good week. Next post is on Tuesday or Wednesday)