𝙘𝙤𝙣 𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙨 (𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙖 𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪)

chapter twenty-nine.

1 month later, 1975: suna POV.

song for this chapter: the immigrant/love theme (same song as last chapter)

people were getting worried about me, i could tell. but i could care less about how other people think. 

every time i looked in the mirror, my face looked pale. those eyebags under my eyes were far more visible than how they were weeks, even days ago. i just couldn't get that damn picture out of my mind.

the last time i had seen her, my beautiful angel.

that white dress, her small smile when she noticed i was ih the living room, hell even her teary eyes when she heard me unveil the news- i just couldn't get it out of my head. now before anyone makes some false assumptions, it's not as if she was as head over heels for me as i am now for her. 

to be honest, i just thought she was going to be a quick fuck for a little revenge.

and then i took her home to meet the former don. god, how time flies. 

the one thing i especially hate without her being by my side is that i don't know who she's with, if she's even with anyone, if she's even okay? for all i know she could be getting tortured, and me, who is supposed to be y/n's knight and shining armor or whatever, i cannot be doing anything about it!

i don't even know where the hell she went?

shinsuke knows how woried i can get about her, and it's not as if he isn't in the same boat. marie is off the coordinates, and that makes me worried as well. i'm enraged that i'm a don now, yet i can't do anything to save 2 incredibly important women in my lives?

shinsuke, you bastard, for making me a don.

i'm 24 who just got off that smoking problem a couple weeks back, and i physically cannot wrap my head around the way that such a young guy like me tries to do so much when i can't. i know that, but i also don't want to make myself labeled as 'weak'.

shinsuke told me i try to do so much for the age i'm in, like the shithead said when i was working for him. i must've been 15 or something. and speaking of doing too much for my age, ever since my darling left for god knows where, i didn't exactly develop the best habits. 

the looks of pity i have been getting from everyone here didn't do well for the even more depressed mental state that i'm in. osamu was one of the only people who could keep me sane, the other things being shooting bastards or bitches and sex.

sex. yeah, ever since then, i've slept with way too many whores to count. they weren't as good as her, but at least they actually gave me some decent pleasure in life. 

when y/n left, i couldn't contact her. i had no way too. it kept me up at night wondering what she was thinking, why she broke up with me. i couldn't have done anything- did i do something wrong? did she find out something about my past i didn't want her to know?

but most importantly, how was she feeling without me? just as broken as i was.

who am i kidding, anyway.

she's way too strong for that. if only i could be just like her. 

oh, y/n... i fucking miss you. 

a/n: double (maybe triple) update, next few chapters aren't gonna be set in 1975 anymore-