Guide to survive and Love in Gotham.

Fucking watch

Davina wasn't one to give much though of the local villains of her city, she just went with her life like they were a spider, you knew that your chances to find one in your house was high but there wasn't really much that you could do about it  and when you found it you tried to act like it wasn't there and eventually they'll both came to the silent agreement of letting the other leave.

Villains were similar to that, she knew that they were a lot in the city but didn't do anything to get rid of them and when she encounter one she just pretend that she didn't saw anything and retreat and for the rest of day she would avoid the place where she found it.

Her Lela had a rule about that actually.

When you meet a villain — because this was Gotham and it was bound to happen in some point — walk slowly to where you came from and don't look back.

Why not run? Well a lot of villain actually like it when their victims run so going slow was a safer option.

Nothing about this changed too much after Damián pay her to bail him out of some mission when thing went sour. Davina — or Ophelia as Timbó name her — just took Damián or someone else — she charges extra for that because Alfred told her to do it and it wouldn't be polite to not listen to him right? — and left.

Well she usually talked a lot but that was mostly to avoid suspicion on her. Davina was always polite and nice to people and was only a little shit with those who she trusted, and Ophelia was a little shit in general so they clearly couldn't be the same person.

She did made one exception and went away from her usual routine that time when Damian's life was on the line and actually talked to the Joker but she only did it once.

It shouldn't be so bad right?

Of course this was Gotham City what meant that always the worst case escenario was meant to happen when you least expect it.

Gotham was a truly horrible bitch and how anyone could love this god damn city was beyond her.

But coming back to the present  her main problem was that right now she would like to know more about villains.

Well about one in particular.

"Harley Queen wants to talk to me?" She asked confused only remembering that she was supposed to be the joker girlfriend and feeling bad for her because she had seen her on the news and she could totally do better than that sorry excuse of a clown.

"Yes, and she is holding Drake hostage to ensure that you don't runaway" Told Damián with a serious expression on his face and Ophelia could tell that he was as confused as her on this.

Good, at least she wasn't the only one that though that this was beyond weird.

"Why?" She asked really hard trying to think about a time where she had encounter the woman before but nothing came to her mind. "I don't think I have met her before..."

"You don't have to go if you don't want, we can deal with this" Assured Robin and for a moment she really thought about going back to their apartment and just sleep the whole night.

She did have a rough week with lots of exams and presentations and sooo many group projects, why couldn't Davina do things on her own?! People exhausted her and in some point she really considered to just throw one of her classmates through the window.

But it was Timbó...

Damnit why did she grew a conscience? She was perfectly happy before without one.

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Tim had dealt with Harley a lot of times and even when she was unpredictable and reckless on her own she wasn't so bad an crazy without the Joker at her side.

But right now she didn't look very sane.

She was talking to herself while she hold really tight her hammer and she didn't look happy at all.

"Lovely place" someone said breaking the silence and suddenly Ophelia was there sitting on top of a large wooden box.

"You finally came!" Screamed Harley sounding not very happy about it.

"You call and I come, I am easy like that" Ophelia answered cheerfully like usual with a mischievous glint on her pretty golden eyes.

Ophelia came to save him that had to meant something right? Right?

"You pudding thief!" Accused her the villain smashing the box where Ophelia was sitting with her big hammer but this only caused for Ophelia to appear in other place like nothing happened.

"Pudding? But I don't even like pudding, too sweet for me" Answered confused the girl just avoiding all the hits that Harley was trying to gave her.

"Homewrecker!" She said next and this made all the people on the room do a double take.

"Excuse me what?" Asked Ophelia staying in one place when Harley stoped to take a break.

"You stole my Pudding! Now all he does is talk about you and batsy! You seduce him!" Accused Harley looking like an over jealous girlfriend talking to the slut who was trying to take her man away.

There was a little silence while the other two on the room digested the information.

"The fuck you just said?" Asked Ophelia and Tim suddenly came to the realization that this wasn't going to end well.

"You heard me sister!" She said back and all hell break loose.

Tim decide to used this moment to escape and it was a wise move since a couple of minutes later all hell broke loose an even Harley Goons runaway scared in the mess that both girls did.

"Chinga tu madre!¹" Screamed Ophelia who was being hold by Red Robin to stop the fight between the girls. "besides I am dating someone else"

"Bullshit" answered Harley giving her the stink eye.

"You wanna see? Well I'll fucking show you!" ophelia said sounding determined and she turn back getting face to face to Tim.

"Ophelia?" He asked a little nervous for the sudden closeness between them.

"Fucking watch" said Ophelia to Harley and she took Tim by the shoulders and pull down her mask so fast that Tim couldn't see her face clearly and in the next second his heart was doing back flips on his chest because Ophelia was kissing him.

Her lips taste like strawberry and it was a little clumsy and hard but it was oh so good...

Tim might have died in that moment and he would have died a happy man.

Before he could properly respond to the kiss Ophelia left to argue with Harley a little more.

But Tim? He didn't gave a flying fuck about it he was in the fucking cloud nine right now and not even the world coming to an end or Davina marrying Damian in this instant could spoild it for him.

Tim truly didn't mind being kidnaped if this is how it was going to go.

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1- Fuck your mother

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Notes: miss me? I miss you! Thanks you for reading!

Love you all!

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Tim: admit it, you like Damián.
Jason: oh, come on. I mean, am I attracted to him? Sure. Does he get me in ways no one ever has? Indubitably. Do I fantasize about him? Yes, but only in two positions. But do I like him? The answer is no.

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Alfred: [crouched down in front of his tomato plants, examining a pattern of insect bites on their leaves] I'm going to fucking kill whoever this did. I'm going to kill them for you. Don't worry babies. I'm going to murder every single son of a bitch who ever got a mouthful of you. They'll die screaming.
Dick: [coming out of the house] oh! Okay. Your are talking to the plants. Okay.