Metanoia | J. POTTER

T H A N K Y O U + N E W B O O K

Hello, all. This book has been quite the adventure for me and I thank every single one of you for sticking through it with me.

This book was vastly different from what I usually write considering I try my best to steer clear from writing toxic relationships. Admittedly, Rose and James have many faults and they still have so many things they would have had to work through before they were even remotely considered a healthy relationship.

However, I don't think that there's anything wrong with reading or being entertained by a toxic/unhealthy relationship as long as we can acknowledge that it's not a relationship to hope for. If you're ever in any type of relationship (friend or other) like this one, you should definitely consider working through some things with them or (no matter how much it may suck) cut them off.

I think there is (only in certain instances) a chance to fix unhealthy relationships but that's only possible if both parties are willing to look inside themselves and figure out what makes them act a certain way.

Don't ever let anyone treat you poorly or make you feel awful about yourself. You're all kings/queens/whatever you wish to be and you deserve to be treated as such. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise and certainly don't let yourself tell you otherwise!

Specifically, in regards to Rose and James, I think they both have so many faults and while it would be easy to pin the blame on just one person for everything that happened throughout this book, I think it has a lot to do with both of them.

They were both heavily reliant on each other throughout their years at Hogwarts (you don't really see that as much on this because this was really just when everything went to shit). Rose cared about him deeply and James cared about her just as much, possibly more depending how you look at it.

While Rose was fully aware that James was (thought to be) in love with Lily, she still had feelings for him that weren't just friendly. She didn't quite understand them fully but as soon as she realized it, she shut down completely. She mentally cut James off after he informed her that he loved her and while she tried to act as though everything was fine, it really wasn't. She bottled everything up and that, quite frankly, just made everything worse.

James had no idea he had actually told Rose he loved her and after he had the dream (which was really a memory) he panicked as well. And of course, in a true teenager fashion (remember, they are still kids trying to navigate their feelings while an entire war is transpiring outside the doors of their school) neither of them addressed it leaving them in a confusing awkward something.

I had no intention of having any Lily bashing in this book (which was something I was worried about doing when I first started) but I found a way around that. I kind of liked the idea that Lily was willing to give up something that had the potential to be great (yes, James cared and possibly loved Lily a great deal, it is indeed possible to love two people at once) for her sister's happiness.

After overhearing Tonks and Rose's conversation (fun fact: Lily knew that James had told Rose he loved her but that's neither here nor there) she decided that maybe it was time to give her sister at chance at love. Even though Rose is a stubborn bitch who was sleeping with Sirius because she was too scared to admit her feelings.

Anyway, she eventually broke up with James and told him to go confess his feelings to Rose. Obviously when he plans to do this, Rose has no idea that he and Lily broke up and she is still royally pissed at him for punching Sirius.

This leads us to when they both ended up at Lestrange Manor and Rose is tortured. Keep in mind, this is their second interaction with Death Eaters and it's far worse than the first time. James is completely helpless and incapable of helping her no matter how hard he tries.

They both faced a great deal of trauma in such a short period of time, and that piled on with the normal teenage drama was by no means and easy thing to handle. They bonded in a completely different way, the two the only ones who could understand what they had went through.

But then Rose's parents were found dead and she shut down again. He did his best to be there for her but she freaked out and was convinced that if he got too close to her, he would end up dead. Eventually Sirius managed to convince her to talk to him, he argued the point that James was a target with or without her are around and you know the rest.

My point is, even though they were thrown into some very adult situations that most kids their age don't have to deal, they are just that. They're kids and I think that's something that's important to remember.

While they were still very young and impressionable and hormonal, they were willing to work toward what they would eventually become and they vowed to keep trying even after they got there. They were a constant work in progress and I think that's an important distinction to know when comparing fixable toxic traits in a relationship and relationships that are overall toxic and unfixable.

They had respect for each other and there was never any manipulation, no control, no shaming. Nothing they did or any way they acted was ever directly impactful on the other (at least not intentionally) and there was never any emotional or physical abuse going on.

However, the relationship described in this book is not one to shape yours after. I want to make sure anyone reading this understands that just because it happened in this book does not mean it should be happening in real life. This is fiction and there is an important distinction to be made between a real relationship and one that I created in my mind.

If a friend ever tells you that they think there is something off about a relationship you're in, it's important that you listen. There is most likely something going on that you aren't seeing and they are

And while we're on the topic of abusive relationships:
If you or anyone you know is in a domestically abusive relationship that is not safe for them, even if it may seem minor, please call someone. thehotline.org has a lot of information in regards to what to do if a situation like this arises. The hotline is 1(800) 799 - 7233.

Another thing to keep in mind is that I am not an expert on the topics discussed above. While I have done a fair amount of research before talking about it and I have some level of education in forms abuse - albeit, for children and occasionally for relationships and it was a high school level education - I am not claiming to be an expert. If you are interested in learning more about abusive relationships and what exactly abusive relationship is, conduct your own research. There are so places to look/contact and if you wish for website suggestions, feel free to comment or private message me.

I also would like to say that I did lose motivation for this book, hence why those last two chapters came out so rushed and probably not my best work. That's not to say I won't rewrite them or add a bit more, but I didn't want to leave the ending open ended. I did have more planned but seeing as I could hardly write these last two chapters, I don't want to make any promises. But this is not the end of James and Rose. I can't foresee when but I will be writing the rest of their story for you guys but for now, this is goodbye.

On to other things now, in regards to a new book, I typically announce some sort of new book at the end of every book I finish but seeing as I started this book almost three years ago, I have so many books to choose from and more to come. I appreciate each and every one of you for all the love and support (and patience, so so so much patience) and I wouldn't trade yall for the world. If you're interested in reading more of my books, my page is always open to you guys. Again, thank you for everything! Until next time.