Metanoia | J. POTTER

10 | break-ups

Rose made her way through the corridor to the Great Hall in a confused state. She was still on the outs with James and he was still trying to talk to her but she refused.

Someone grabbed onto her arm and pulled her into a classroom. For a moment, she thought it was Sirius again and was grateful because she could do with a good distraction. But when she turned around it was not him but James himself.

She pulled her arm away from him. She turned to walk out but he easily pulled her away and blocked her exit. "Don't run from me anymore," he requested, "Please. I just want to talk."

"Fine," she huffed. Maybe all they needed to do was talk and they would be back to where they were. But is that what she wanted? "Our spot by Black Lake," she stated and he nodded, "Meet me there after dinner and we can talk."

He perked up, clearly surprised she gave in so easily, "Really?"

Her lips were pressed in a tight line and she nodded, "Yeah."

"What's got you in such a chipper mood?" Sirius asked as his friend took a seat at the Gryffindor table. He had been down since Rose and he got into the fight and nobody seemed to be able to cheer him up. Not even Lily.

"Rose agreed to talk to me," he explained and Sirius eyebrows raised in surprise. Last he had talked to her - which happened to have been last night - she had no intention of talking to him.

"She did?" he inquired and James nodded. "Try not to fuck it up."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence," he replied with a roll of his eyes. "And even if I did fuck it up - which I won't - we'd make up. We always make up."

"One of these days your luck will run out."

James's nose wrinkled, "This isn't exactly how I pictured this conversation going."

"What conversation?" Remus inquired as he took a seat across from them. He looked between the two in confusion, "What did I miss?"

"Rose agreed to talk to James again," Sirius explained.

"She did?" Remus asked in surprise and Sirius shot James a pointed look.

"James?" someone spoke up and he looked up in surprise to find Lily standing there. The rims of her eyes were puffy and it was clear to anyone within seeing range that she was crying. She clutched the books she was holding to her chest and glanced around at Sirius and Remus before focusing on him. "Can I talk to you?" she requested. "In private?"

James eyebrows furrowed in confusion but he stood up anyway, following the girl out of the Hall.

"You're really going to talk to him?" Tonks inquired as she picked at her food. "Like, really talk to him? About everything?"

"What? No," she shook her head quickly. "As far as I'm concerned, that never happened."

"Don't you think he deserves to know that he told you he's in love with you?"

"He didn't tell me he was in love with me," she pointed out. "He told me he loves me. Big difference."

"Rose," Tonks sighed. "What about Lily?"

"What about Lily?" she asked in confusion.

"I mean-" she began, sitting up. "-her boyfriend is in love with her twin sister and she doesn't even know it. I don't see this ending well."

"Lily and James are meant to be together," Rose explained. "They will get married, live in a house with a white picket fence, and have two and a half kids."

Tonks eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Two and a half kids? Are they having a centaur as a child?" Her confused expression morphed into a glee one, "Awesome."

"No, Tonks, it's an expression of sorts," Rose rolled her eyes. "Nevermind that. Nothing can go wrong here."

"If that's what you have to tell yourself."

"I have to go," the redhead announced as she stood up from the Hufflepuff table.

"Hey, you'll tell me everything, right?" Tonks asked and Rose nodded. "I'll be waiting in your room."

Rose rolled her eyes, "Yeah, alright."

Tonks sent the girl an encouraging smile before she left. The Hufflepuff's eyes flickered across the room to the Gryffindor table. Sitting at the table, already looking at her, was Remus Lupin sharing a similar expression to that of her own. There was no way this ended well.

Rose stared out across the lake as thoughts flooded her mind. Dinner had ended ages ago so where could he have possibly been? The sun had set a while ago and the only source of light came from the faint glow of parts of the castles and the stars that littered the sky.

Rose drummed her fingers against her calves as she waited for the boy to show up. She contemplated just getting up and going to her room when she heard the grass rustle behind her, indicating that someone was approaching her.

"Sorry," James apologized as he sat down next to the girl. "I got caught up with Lily."

She frowned, glancing over at him for a brief moment, "Right." She pressed her forehead against her knees and James watched her warily.

"Rose?"

"You know, everyone has always chosen my sister over me and I have learned to accept that," she began, moving her head so that her cheek rested on her knees and she could look at him. "And even when you were constantly nipping at her heels for her attention, you still put me before her. I suppose it was only a matter of time before you switched off just like everybody else."

She hated when she felt like this. She loved her sister. Of course she did. She loved her more than anything she knew but that didn't stop the jealousy that ate at her from the inside out. For once, she didn't want to be the second choice.

"That's not fair," he shook his head. "You know that's not fair! You're the one that told me-"

"I know," she frowned, staying silent for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. "I can't keep doing this," she explained. "We have just been going in circles for weeks now. We fight, we make up and then we fight again. I'm tired, James. This isn't working."

He shook his head slightly. This felt oddly similar to that of a breakup but they weren't even together so James just felt more confused than he did before. "I know but I'm working on-"

"No," she cut him off and he faltered. He could tell from the look on her face and the odd calmness in her tone that she was truthfully and wholeheartedly done. He felt his heart beating in his chest as he waited for her to continue. "Like I said, there's no point."

"Hang on," he tried. "We always get through our stupid fights because they're just that. They're stupid!"

"It's more than that," she frowned. There was sadness in her tone mixed with something else that he couldn't quite identify at first but when he did it was like the whole world had stopped. She had accepted their apparently inevitable fate. "I'm sorry, James. But maybe it's best if from now on I'm just the annoying Slytherin twin of your girlfriend and you're just my sister's arrogant boyfriend."

"You don't mean that," he spoke but his voice was quiet because he knew deep down that she did. She meant every word and that broke him more than anything else could have. "Rose-"

"I have to go," she cut him off, a neutral expression on her face. "Goodbye, Potter."

He opened his mouth to say something but clamped his mouth shut. It was no use because she had made up her mind and if there was one thing James knew for sure about Rose is that she was stubborn beyond imagination. And if there was one thing he hated about her more than her being stubborn...well there was nothing he hated about her.