Rundown (Spiderman x Reader) (II)

44. Shot Through the Heart

Shot through the heart as I lay there alone
In the dark through the heart

The machine stopped spinning, familiar faces showing through the blue helmet. Everyone seemed out of breath or kind of dizzy, still grasping the crazy idea that we just traveled through time and came back.

My knees wobbled and made me collapse to the floor. Using my palms to support my body, I panted, "Badass."

The suits quickly faded into their respective nanoparticles. "Did we get them all?" Bruce rushed.

Rhodey let out a laugh. "You telling me this'll actually work?"

Everyone sighed relieved, we had gotten the six pieces. The exception fell on Clint, who seemed... off.

The silence immediately roamed in the garage. I looked around, and it turns out someone from the team was missing. "Clint, where's Nat?"

He didn't respond, but the mourning on his face said more than it needed to do. I hugged my knees, consuming grief. Even Bruce couldn't control his sadness... he pounded his fists into the platform.

»»————-　🐝　————-««

There are no words to describe the pain that follows after you lose people close to you. Everybody experiences it differently. For some, it means wallowing in drinks, alcohol; addiction is the biggest form. Tried that a couple of times, but it didn't do the kick people claim it has. Others prefer to punch things, hoping physical hits remove the emotional. Few, like me right now, just observe as the clock claims another day.

What is common is the hollow feeling in your chest that grows and grows, until you either learn to control it or you can't take it anymore.

"Do we know if she had family?" Tony wondered. We were outside the facility, the lost and mourning faces drowning out the first teardrops drawn. The clear, light sky made the black pop more.

"Yeah. Us," Steve replied.

The God of Thunder mumbled a, "What?" and a, "Huh?"

Since my feet were dangling over the water, my back was facing them. I didn't feel like seeing their broken expressions or making them feel worse by mine. After all, they had known Nat better than I had. I wasn't going to be that person, telling them how to sort their emotions out.

Tony intervened. "I just asked him a question—"

"Yeah, no, you're acting like she's dead. Why are we acting like she's dead? We have the stones, right? As long as we have the stones, Cap, we can bring her back, isn't that right? So stop this shit. We're the Avengers, get it together."

"We can't get her back." The voice of Clint convinced me to finally turn around.

First thing I noticed was Thor walking back and forth on his feet, unsure if he'd heard correctly. "Wha– what?"

"It can't be undone. It can't."

I feel so bad for him. In fact for the remaining original six. And his dry laugh made it 10 times worse. "I'm sorry. No offense, but you're a very earthly being. Okay? We're talking about space magic. And 'can't' seems very definitive don't you think?"

"Yeah, look, I know that I'm way outside my paygrade here. But she still isn't here, is she?" The tension rose again. Is it always the same story, different people? I'm getting sick of the repetition.

My head began throbbing. "Guys, stop it" I whispered.

No matter how Mr. Hawkeye phrased the same idea, it wouldn't get into him. "No, that's my point–"