Tainted Perception | Wilbur Soot Angst (ORIGINAL)

Perspective

TW: Panic attack

A/N: Me? Reusing chapter names? Never /s 

 Tommy paused, listening to the shaky and unsure voice of the man he thought of as family. He sounded so broken, tired, terrified, guilty, sad. What had happened to the Wilbur he knew? What could have happened to him in those five months that changed him so drastically? What happened to the happy, laughing brother figure that was always there for him? Why did fate deal them such a terrible hand? Where did Tommy fail so terribly that he let down the only person he had sworn to himself to help?

He thought of all the times that Wilbur had helped him. Giving him advice, telling him how to do something he was struggling with, making him smile when he was stressed, making sure he didn't go too crazy in IRL streams. Tommy smiled at the memories.

-

"Why did- why- why did you DM- why did you DM me- why did you DM me 'Wil'- why did you- why-" Wilbur stuttered, trying to form a cohesive sentence. "Why did you DM me, 'Will, please come, it's an emergency, I need you'?"

"Well- well, Wilbur- Wilbur my mother is dying, 'cept we're all dying if you think about it."

"What do you mean- wha- what?!" the man paused, "So- so your mum's not dying- you don't-"

"Well I mean she could be. I- I haven't asked." Tommy pointed out, not at all helping his case.

The brunet paused, trying to put two and two together, "So why you- you- you're speedrunning?"

"Yes." he confirmed. His eyes darted across the screen, trying to figure something out, "Wilbur, is Twitch going down again?"

"I don't- Tommy I don't- you've- you've put me right on edge, Tommy-"

"Well, I'm sorry- I'm sorry- I see my little red box goin' off again and I go 'Uh oh'." They continued talking for a bit, mostly about speedrunning.

"You really- you really- you really made me on edge, dude, when you told me to call you, it's an emergency, like-"

Tommy stopped what he was doing, his brow furrowing in confusion, "Why?"

"Well 'cause I said: 'Why don't you dial 999?' and you said: 'No time,'"

The boy tilted his head back and forth, trying to play it off, "So how are you?"

Wilbur paused, and silence filled the call, "I'm- I'm- I'm- uh- you- you made me anxious, man! I'm fine, but-"

"Were you worried for me?" he hesitated, "We have a very- we're like brothers."

"Yeah, I will cry,"

-

"Tommy- Tommy I'm so sorry- I- I haven't-"

"Hey, hey take a breath," the blond comforted, wracking his brain desperately for all the times Wilbur had told him how to deal with panic attacks. "What's- what's five things that you can- that you can see?"

"Um-" Wilbur started, taking short desperate breaths. "The- the couch,"

"Okay, okay, wha- what else?" Tommy watched the man's eyes dart around the room through the screen, his gaze searching for objects to name.

"The table, um, Ph- Phil's water bottle, a blanket, and- and a pillow."

"Good, good, um, what is something you can touch, Will?" the boy prompted.

"Um- the floor."

"Okay, and what about something you can hear?"

The man paused, listening, "Birds," he stated quietly.

"Yeah- yeah that works." They continued that process for a little bit longer, breathing and talking. Phil just awkwardly sitting with them, near enough to Will where if he wanted to he could reach him, but not close enough to encroach on his space.

-

Phil felt useless. Wilbur was mostly calm, the only remaining signs of the panicked man he was minutes ago were a few gulping hiccups and puffy eyes. Yet none of that was thanks to him. He was right next to someone he was supposed to be taking care of yet the person who had helped was hours away. And a minor for fuck's sake!

How was he supposed to help someone who didn't trust him, who flinched at his touch? I am not prepared. Why would anyone think this was right? That the end justified the means? Only a monster would rip away someone's life for a selfish cause. No person would be that inhumane.

"Phil! Phil!"

The man blinked, coming back to reality, "Yes, Tommy?" The boy glanced at Will, who's gaze was fixated on the floor, refusing to look at the older male. "Mate?" Phil asked gently.

"Y-yes?"

"Are you okay?" he nodded hesitantly.

"How about I show you your room real quick and we both get some rest? Or I could heat up some food and we could eat?"

"I-" Will started, trying to gather himself, "Can you show- can you show me my- the room?"

"Of course, mate," Phil reassured, trying to ignore the fact that Wilbur refused to say "my room".

Again thank you so much Sky, have a great one!