Tainted Perception | Wilbur Soot Angst (ORIGINAL)

Trapped

TW: Panic attack, kidnapping, forced sedation (and maybe more that I missed?)

A/N: I would have made this longer, but I really need to go to bed.

 The car was stiff and awkward, just like always. Why couldn't it be like how it used to be? Laughing and joking, singing along to the radio. But alas, it wasn't. Wilbur had gotten kidnapped, and now he wasn't the same. And Phil didn't expect him to be, no one would come out of a situation like that unscathed.

They were on their way to Will's house. Armed with several trash bags and a cleaned out car, they were planning on taking as much as they could. Essential items first, of course. Phil wondered what thoughts were racing through Will's head. He seemed rather tense earlier, and who could blame him? Remembering the interaction from earlier, he started to tap out a simple beat. Tap, tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap, tap. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. I, am, here, now. I, am, here, now.

Sneaking a glance at the mirror, Phil scanned the other man's face, searching for any sign of acknowledgment. There was none. The symphony remained unfinished. The rhythm stayed incomplete. The gentle tapping of his fingers continued on... alone.

-

Wilbur's stomach clenched. Swallowing thickly, he took long, shaky breaths, trying to calm his racing heart. I am fine. I am fine. I am fine. He tried not to think about the sickly sweet smell of the rag pressed against his face. The pain in his neck as it was held at an awkward angle to keep him subdued. The staticky sleepiness that filled his body as he tried in vain to keep himself awake.

I am fine. I am fine. I am fine. I am fine. Goosebumps pricked at his skin, shivers running up and down his arms. Why am I so cold? His heartbeat seemed to pound in his ears, making him painfully aware of the fast pace. His teeth started to chatter, and he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to instill some warmth. I am fine. I am fine. I am fine. I am fine.

The panic that had seized his chest when he had woken up with that irritating beeping in his ear. The man that had leaned over him, a crazy smile ever present on his face. The desperate insanity that was evident in every move that the man had made. The frustration at his frightened confusion when the man tried to explain his thought process. The same look that Wilbur now recognized on himself. The same look he had when he explained his plan to Tommy. The same look he must have had when he looked out at L'Manburg. The same look he had when he pushed the button. I am fine. I am fine. I am fine.

By now he was shaking uncontrollably, his mind in a different place. A different time. He was trapped in a memory, but that wasn't the part he was focused on. His mind was fixated on the feelings. The stinging pain in his arm as the man injected various drugs into his body. The fear that ate away at him as he lay helpless on the cot. His arms and legs buckled to the bed, powerless to do anything. The raw screams he had let out, begging for mercy, yelling for help, the help that didn't come. I am fine. I am fine. I am fine.

Wilbur's hands gripped the seat until his knuckles turned white. Searching for comfort but finding none. He was alone. He was alone just like in the train station. The taunting place. The reassuring place. The place filled with so many memories. The place where days blended and months never ended. I am fine. I am fine. I am fine.

The world faded away and got replaced with emptiness. A void filled with pure feeling. Pain. Happiness. Anguish. Fear. Comfort. Loneliness. Everything and nothing. Everywhere and nowhere. Some time and all of it. It was infinitely big but tiny. I am fine. I am fine. I am fine.

His fingers gripped at his hair, the feeling not registering in his mind. All he knew was the thoughts that wouldn't go away. The memories plagued him. The fear holding him with an iron fist. Not letting him go. Not letting him rest. And never leaving him alone. I am fine. I am fine. I am fi-

"Will!" The voice finally came through, Phil. "Will, it's okay, mate. I'm here. I'm here. Take deep- take deep breaths," Wilbur obliged, taking in gulps of air. "You're okay, mate," the man reassured. "Um- um, what's three things you can see?" He scanned the area, and he realized they had stopped. Phil had apparently pulled over.

"The- the tree," he started, "Um- the lamppost, and the- and the fire hydrant." They continued like that for a while, and slowly, Wilbur regained his senses. And Phil asked the question that he knew was coming, but that didn't make it any better to hear.

"What- what happened, mate?"

"I-"

Okay, Ima go to bed now, have a wonderful day/night!