Tainted Perception | Wilbur Soot Angst (ORIGINAL)

Anxious

TW: Anxiety, abandonment

A/N: Mmmmm, social anxiety

 Wilbur's eyes swept over the landscape, his gaze analyzing every nook and cranny. Memorizing all of the places he could run in the case of a fight, all the places he could stop and stand his ground. He imagined himself clambering up the buildings, skillfully jumping from roof to roof as arrows flew by his ear, missing by inches.

Forcing himself back to reality (or not reality), he got out of the bed, leaning heavily against the wall as he made his way downstairs. Cursing at every misstep, mentally scolding himself at every stumble.

"Hey, mate," Phil greeted, thankfully not commenting on his baggy eyes and droopy demeanor.

"Hi," he responded hesitantly, not quite trusting himself to say anything more.

"You hungry?" Wilbur nodded. "There's some cereal in that cupboard and the milk's in the fridge." Phil said, gesturing to each place in turn. Nodding once more, he slowly made his way into the kitchen, subtly staying away from the man he couldn't quite trust.

Thankfully, either the man caught on to his body language, or remembered from the previous day, and exited the space, giving Wilbur plenty of room to work. They ate in silence, staring off into the distance, neither knowing what to say.

"I need to go shopping today," Phil stated hesitantly. "You don't have to come with me," he added quickly, "Unless you want to."

"Um- I- I think I'll stay here," Wilbur decided quietly.

"Okay." Phil agreed. Will managed a small smile, but inside, his heart was doing anxious flips inside his chest, and chills ran up and down his spine. What if he leaves me?

-

"I'll be back in a week," Phil stated, prying Tommy off of his leg as he made his way towards the door. "Money's in the drawer, food is in the fridge. Take care of your brothers, and don't kill each other." he instructed, adding the last statement almost as an afterthought.

"Okay, Techno and Wilbur agreed simultaneously, watching anxiously as their father left, not even bothering to say goodbye.

"Wh- where's Dad going?" Tommy asked hesitantly, looking up at his older brothers, confusion lacing his features.

"I don't know, Tommy," Wilbur answered grimly, "But he'll be back, don't you worry," he added quickly, trying to lighten the mood.

"Okay," the younger boy agreed, and Techno glanced at his twin, a hopeless look on his face.

"Tommy, why don't you find some flowers so we can make crowns?" Wilbur offered, giving the boy a playful shove towards the door. The same door their father had walked through only minutes before.

A grin spread across his face, "Okay!" he exclaimed excitedly, already running towards the field.

"Don't go too far!" he called after him, the words probably falling on deaf ears. After they were certain the boy was out of hearing range, Techno turned towards his brother.

"What are we going to do?" The pig hybrid hissed. "Where is Phil even going?"

"I don't know!" Wilbur whisper yelled back. "I know as much as you do, idiot!"

"We can't take care of Tommy! We're only nine!"

"I know!"

"He's four!" the boy continued, as if he hadn't made his point already.

"I know, Techno! But he said for a week, right?" his twin nodded. "We can do that, right? It's not that long. We can do that." Wilbur stated, trying to convince himself more than anything else.

"Are you sure?"

Not in the slightest. "Yes." And so they did. Techno making the food. Wilbur tucking Tommy into bed. Both taking shifts when it came to watching the gremlin child. If he was honest, the hardest part of the entire thing was when they had to go to the store halfway through the week. Neither had gone on their own before, and both were introverted as fuck.

"I'll do it." Wilbur volunteered, even though his head was screaming at him not to.

"Okay," Techno agreed readily, desperate to spare himself from the possible humiliation of going out in public. Even if it meant spending time alone with Tommy.

So there Wilbur went, walking to the store, alone, at eight years old. Mentally listing all of the things he needed. Eggs, milk, cheese, bread. Eggs, milk, cheese, bread. Eggs, milk, cheese, bread. Eggs, milk, cheese. After what felt like eternity, he made it. And that's when he realized, he had no idea where any of those items were.

Awkwardly scanning the aisles, he made his way over to the one labeled 'Dairy'. Most of the items on the list classified as dairy products, right? His gaze traveled up and down the shelves of the freezers while he tried in vain not to think about all of the other people in the store who were most certainly shooting him strange looks. He felt so out of place. Like any moment someone would come up to him and say "Where are your parents?" But no one did.

He checked out relatively smoothly, trying to ignore the cashier concerned glances. At one point his hands were shaking so badly he dropped the change handed to him. Scrambling to pick it up, he got more and more flustered as the coins refused to leave the floor. Eventually though, he got them, he thanked the worker, and started the long walk back home.

-

"Wait what? Wait, wait, wait, hold on a second, he's awake?" Ranboo asked, his mind still scrambling to process the information.

"Yeah."

"How- for how long?"

"He's been awake for a little over a week."

"A- a week?"

"Yes." Tommy confirmed.

"I-" he swallowed, "Um- okay, uh-" his mind seemed to do a mental reboot, "Tha- that's why you had to leave the stream?"

"Yeah."

"What- what exactly happened?"

"Um," Tommy paused, "Phil panicked," he stated lamely.

"Okay...?" Ranboo questioned.

"Wilbur- Wilbur's living with Phil now. And he- and Will panicked so Phil panicked so he called me."

"Oh."

"Yeah..." Okay but that didn't answer any of my questions, actually. Ranboo thought to himself, but he didn't pry.

"Does- does Tubbo know?" He wouldn't lie to me, right? He had just had that whole conversation with him on stream, but he didn't once mention Wilbur.

"Yeah, yeah he does. So far only me, you, Tubbo, and Phil do." Tommy paused, "Oh and Will, obviously," he added with a laugh.

He released the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, "Well, yeah. That much is obvious." 

Tada! No cliffhanger, I'm so nice. I hope you guys have a wonderful day/night! You are valid, and take care of yourself!