TW: Hallucinations, blood, panic attack
A/N: Procrastination sucks, did you know that? I have homework but now I have to clean the bathroom and help with dinner.
So here Ranboo was, awkwardly mining with his extra 40K viewers he got from Tommy's raid. He was actually about to end stream, but now he couldn't exactly do that. What was he gonna say, "Welcome Tommy raiders, um, bye!"? No, no that would turn him into a walking talking meme.
"Well, uh, for the people who just joined I'm just looking for iron and stuff, so nothing really exciting. Um, Tubbo might join in a bit, if he answers any of my DM's..." Come on, Tubbo. "You'd think the person you're married to would actually answer any of my texts but nope, no he just ignores them and they sit there for eternity... Just like me... Okay actually that's very sad, we're just gonna pretend I didn't say that, we're just gonna pretend that didn't happen." Ranboo added, laughing awkwardly.
Pausing to glance at chat, his eyes skimmed the various messages that were being sent. A lot of them were just spam, or a random emote. But occasionally he'd see a question or a funny comment. He had noticed something about himself, a lot of other streamers, and even everyday people. A lot of their approval came from other people, whenever he said something he thought was funny or witty, he listened for laughter from his friends, or looked at chat for some sort of acknowledgment. It was a subconscious tell, a tell that could show how insecure one was, and it was terrifying. Half of him wanted someone to notice, to point it out, just so they knew how unsure he was, but the other half didn't want everyone to know about the weakness he had. Whaattt? Ranboo fighting with himself? Unheard of.
Humming along to the music playing, he bobbed his head to the beat, mouthing the words he knew and fumbling the rest.
"Hello," Tubbo greeted
"Hey."
"What's up?" the brunet asked, popping the "P".
"Uhhh, nothing much."
"Well then why did you text me a million times to join VC?"
"I wouldn't say a million, more like two." Ranboo protested.
"Uh huh."
-
Wilbur leaned heavily against the car, trying to decide if it was worth even trying to walk on his own. Should I ask for help? No, no he couldn't. No, Phil never liked it when Will took up his time. No, he needed that time to take care of everyone else, Tommy and Techno. Wilbur wasn't the only person in the family, and he was old enough, he didn't need attention.
"Mate? Do- do you need some help?" The older male asked tentatively.
"Um," Will paused, trying to formulate a response, "Yes, I- I need some help." Each word felt like a knife in the chest. He didn't want help, it made him feel useless. It made him feel like a burden. Phil approached him carefully, seeming unsure.
Steadying himself, Wilbur cautiously transferred his weight from the vehicle to the man he once thought of as his father. Their progress was painfully slow, between his own weakness and the wind that was trying to blow them over, the front door seemed miles away. Phil's arm was wrapped around him, keeping him up, trapping him. His hand seemed to suffocate him, he couldn't get air. Why couldn't he get air? Pain spread through his torso. A red substance seeping through his shirt. Blood. The word faintly registered in Wilbur's mind,
Phil was still holding him, the walls around him blurry. Wait, walls? When did they get inside? The words he had painstakingly scrawled seemed to jump out at him. The anthem he had written mocking his failure. Tommy was yelling at him, telling him how it was all his fault. How it would have been fine if he hadn't blown it all up. And he was right. It was selfish of him to do that. It was selfish to rip away what they had held most dear.
Blood filled his mouth as he tried desperately to get air into his lungs. Phil's face loomed above him, holding a sword, the sword. The sword that ended his life, the sword that was ending his life.
"Will?" the new voice flooded his senses. He knew that voice. Where had he heard it? It was young and sincere, genuine.
"Tommy?"
Um, I'm gonna go now, have a wonderful day/night, bye!
Editor Moon: I can literally see my past self losing motivation lmao
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Tainted Perception | Wilbur Soot Angst (ORIGINAL)
Fanfic(ORIGINAL) Wilbur was dead, simple as that. It was a bit lonely, being in that train station, but it wasn't terrible. Then the impossible happened, he woke up. It wasn't real. How could it not be real? How could all of the things he had experienced...
