Tainted Perception | Wilbur Soot Angst (ORIGINAL)

Give Up

TW: Derealization, hallucinations, feelings of insignificance, panic attack

A/N: Thank you guys so much for all of the support, it really mean a lot! We are almost at 3K reads, that's insane!

 Wilbur ran. He ignored the angry calls behind him. The people he had left behind, the people he had let down.

"Ohhh, Wilbur," Dream's haunting voice echoed off of the invisible walls. The man whipped around, spinning in circles as he scanned the space. Squinting through the weird white fog that clogged the air. "Why are you running! You have nowhere to go!" The man's laugh punctuated the statement, loud and cackling, insane.

"Where- where are you?" Dream just chuckled, as if mocking his naivety.

"Oh, Wilbur. I'm honestly disappointed in your performance. How are you the great leader of L'Manburg? You're nothing, nothing, compared to me." All of a sudden, the tyrant himself appeared in front of him.

"Tommy!" Will lunged forward, trying to snatch his brother from Dream's grasp. As quickly as he had appeared, the man was gone, reappearing a couple out of his reach, Tommy now in a cage a couple feet away.

"Wilbur!" The boy fought violently against mesh wire, hitting and kicking, to no avail. Dream just watched with amusement as the brothers tried in vain to get to each other.

"Don't you get it now? You are powerless against me! There is nothing you can do to defeat me, okay? Whatever you do I can do it ten fold. So just give up." The words echoed through Wilbur's head. He had been told those two words several times in his lifetime, whether they were joking or not. Each time, he had taken it in stride, acknowledging that not everyone agreed with him, that they didn't have to. But it was different this time, because he knew it was the most logical conclusion.

He had years of experience, of knowing when to retreat, when to fight, when to not act at all. Unlike his brothers he went into every confrontation knowing that there was a chance he could lose, or even that he would. Technoblade was so full of blunt confidence that he could be blinded by it, unseeing of the harsh reality that he can't force his way through every situation. Tommy was so eager to prove himself, eager to show everyone that he was able, failure wasn't an option for him. Unfortunately, that made it hard in the heat of battle, it forced him to take responsibility for the successes and shortcomings. They didn't know when to pull back, when it was too much. They didn't know when a breaking point had been reached.

It's why they didn't notice when Will started to pull apart at the seams. They had been so focused on their success, their plans, they hadn't seen the structural integrity that was Wilbur's mind start to crumble.

"Okay. You win." Dream's mask seemed to smile more, sinister in ways that he himself couldn't explain. "I give up." The words released a tidal wave of emotions. Fear, guilt, relief, shame, dissatisfaction. The syllables left a sour taste on his tongue. Just because he knew it was an option, didn't mean he liked it.

"Kneel." Wilbur's brain came to a screeching halt.

"What?"

"You heard me." The world seemed to go in slow motion, his brain going through all of the possible outcomes of this situation. Zeros and ones, off and on, yes and no, up and down. The universe was full of variables. There was a kind of randomness when it came to it, but it wasn't. There is an algorithm, even if you can't comprehend it, it's there. There's a comfort in knowing that no matter what, there is a calculated ending, where everything stops. It could be abrupt, it could be over the course of billions of years, but it would happen. His choices were insignificant in the grand scheme of things, that didn't mean he didn't make a difference, or course. It meant that no matter what he did, he could feel fulfilled doing so, knowing that no matter how small, he did something.

For instance, if he stepped onto a beach, he would leave a footprint. Eventually it would get washed away, yes. But how? The ocean. What controlled the tides? The Moon. What kept the Moon in orbit? Gravity. Each action, even miniscule details, takes huge powers to erase. Glancing at Tommy, he took a deep breath and-

-

"Will! Will wake up!" The man awoke with a start. Scrambling back, he shrank away from Phil, who quickly backed off. "You okay, mate?" Wilbur didn't answer. Running his hands through his hair, he tried in vain to organize his thoughts. He had been in limbo again, suspended where his fears were kept.

"Am- am I awake?" he asked hesitantly. He knew it was a stupid question, that if he was asleep it wasn't like his hallucinations would tell him.

"Yes." Yet for some reason the answer made him feel better. He nodded, mentally reminding himself to breathe. He was okay, he was going to be okay. He was fine. 

Kinda took inspo from Avengers, and it also sorta turned into a... I guess nature documentary? I don't know anymore, it was fun to write tho. As always have a fantastic day/night! Take care of yourselves!