(EDITING) #StillAlive [Jikook/Zombie AU]

20.

Jimin's P.O.V.

Jungkooks lips on mine felt as if heaven finally made place for me. As if fate finally decided to let me feel euphoric too.

More than that it made my stomach flutter and my heart burn with a new sensation, almost as if it tells me that the only oxygen I need from now on are those thin, yet tantalizing lips. Pulling me towards them as if it was second nature. Pulling me into another heated make-out session as if it was a drug I completely fell into its trap in, growing a fatal addiction.

But besides kissing people, I never went further. Always too scared to let more happen, not ready to lay my body into someone's hands and hoping they will treat me good, with care and not trying to hurt or use me.

So when Jungkook hovered over me, nibbling on my skin as if I was a snack, letting his hands roam every inch of my chest.. I couldn't help but get nervous, scared even.

Deep down I felt enough trust for him to know that he wouldn't hurt me. He would stop when I tell him to, he would make sure that I would feel as great as he will.

Yet, just hours ago the same man violently dragged me in my home, cursed me for what I did, hurt me in the most brutal way someone ever could do to me.

To say that I didn't feel an attraction to Jungkook would be a lie. Just remembering all the lonely hours to myself, thinking about him and his silly stories, the way he would make me feel when he holds me and listen to me, the way his eyes would always search for mine, the way our bodies pull to each other like magnets or the way he would be around me like a satellite.

Remembering the moments he scolded me for being careless, ruthless or just for my shameless mouth. His face and voice would look strict and stern, almost intimidating, but his eyes carried worry, carried a softness I never saw in someone else's orbs.

As I said it would be a lie to say I didn't feel a strong pull towards him. Nonetheless, I wouldn't call it love. I appreciate him in any way possible, but I don't know if that's a sense of love or just affection.

Yet, when I told him that I still am a virgin and he would look at me as if he just saw a ghost, I somehow knew that fate loved to play with me.

I didn't felt ashamed, more embarrassed because apparently I made an impression on Jungkook that would make me look like a dick thirsty human being. Of course then he would want to fuck me, thinking that I am easy. Thinking that I'm a whore.

I mean who wouldn't? My mouth is shameless and not everyone gets my weird sense of humor.

"No." He says while laying his arms around me, making me have a seat on his lap, after he had a mental crisis when I asked him if he would fuck me now or not.

The first man I would give my body to just rejected me. That doesn't only hurt my ego but also somehow stings in my chest.

I let my eyes fall to my fingers, clutching his shirt, unknowingly pouting. It was okay that he doesn't want to go further. I would never pressure someone into such stuff. Yet, I couldn't help but to feel disappointed.

"Stop pouting." He whispers as he gently bites into my bottom lip before pressing a soft kiss onto my lips, immediately making me melt into his arms again and my heart race like I just ran a marathon.

"Your first time shouldn't be out of a heated situation. It should be with someone you deeply love and feel complete trust for. It should be special. People aren't lying when they said that you will never forget your first time." He explains while I laid my head on his chest, listening to every word.

"Your first time must have been special then, if you want mine to be one too." I mumble. Somehow the thought of Jungkook fucking around made me feel some kind of sorrow. How many people had his dick up their holes and felt good? And none of them was me. I'm not jealous, just feeling like I'm missing out.