Not Another Faker

Chapter Nineteen

     "Sebastian? What did you say?" "I love you. And I regret everyday not telling you before you got with, Blake. I know you only started dating like a month ago. But it hurts every time I see you too together. That's why I said we should stop talking and, started dating Gigi." "Your dating Gigi? Why would you stoop that low?" "You don't understand what it feels like to love someone so much, and can't have them. It's like when a little kid doesn't get the toy they want."

   "I've sat with group everyday and just watch fall for another guy. I know that these between us would never happen but." "Sebastian shut up." "Why?" I walked closer to him. "Just, shut up." I leaned in and kissed him. I realize that this kiss is risking it all, but what do I have to risk? He pulled away. "What was that for?" "Just to get it out of our systems. But it's late you better go." "So you don't feel the same way?" "I don't know what love feels like. And I definitely don't know what I'm feeling. So I may love you, but I just don't know how to tell. But all I know is, we can't tell anyone about this." "Of course we can't. We both have significant others now, this was a mistake." "I wouldn't call it that." I went to grabbed his hand but he dodged me. "No, it was a mistake." He climbed back out my window.

   A mistake. I'm a mistake, that kiss was a mistake, and maybe dating Blake was a mistake. I went back to school after my two day suspension. "Well if it isn't my little criminal." "I'm not a criminal I haven't killed anybody, yet." "And you won't as long as I play my cards right." I looked over at Seb. I could see the pain in his eyes. Blake put his arm around me. I pulled away to get his arm off of me. "What's wrong with you?" "I'm just, there's a lot on my mind." "Tell me about it." "You're my boyfriend not my personal therapist! I don't need to tell you my issues!" "Calm down Julia!" "You know Blake, I gotta go." I run down the hall. I hear Seb tell my name. "Julia!" "Where do you think your going Sebastian?" "To make sure she's okay." "She doesn't need you." "No she doesn't need you." "Dude your not gonna like tell her about that night right?" "No, she's not ready for that information yet."

    "Julia! God you're a fast runner." "No, your just slow." "I'm gonna say that's your anger talking but." "Sorry it's just, after what you told me, and Blake. He treats me like I'm a prize he won. Like he got the last prize, he got what he wanted." "That's because Blake McLain always gets what he wants. Every since we were kids, he's gotten everything he wanted. He got the cool toys, the nice car, he even got the girl." "Seb listen. Your a great guy, and I do love you, but I don't know if I'm in love with you. But you deserve a girl like Gigi. Pretty, popular, rich. Not a girl that is sick and dying." "I don't care about all those things." "Blake is the kinda guy that if I died he would move on. You're different. You would be broken, possible forever. And I can't let happen to you." A tear ran down my face. "I care about you to much to leave you. So I have to stop caring about you." "Julia, no." I stood up. "I'm sorry Seb, I have to go." "Julia." "Yeah." "I won't stop loving you, ever." "There's one rule about being sick Seb. Never let anyone fall in love with you."