Not Another Faker

Chapter Forty-Three

   I wake up the next day, in the hospital. Bright lights, and wires attached to my body. An empty, white room. The only sound I hear is the beeping of my heart monitor. "Hello Ms. Maxwell. Your mom is here to see you." "Okay send her in." My mom walks in. "The doctor said he'll be back to tell you what happened in a bit." "Do I even want to know?" "Honey. It can't be that bad." "My car!" "You're in a hospital bed, and you're more worried about your car?" "Um, duh." "It's at the house. You're lucky Seb followed you out." "Yeah, I know." The doctor came in about fifteen minutes later. And so did Seb. "You're okay!" He ran over to me. "Yes I'm fine. Well I feel fine. The doctor will be in any minute." Then the doctor walked in. "Hello everyone. So I just want to tell you all what happened to Julia." He looks at me. "It looks like you had a seizure. Due to the spread of your cancer. It's spreading more rapidly then we expected." "What?!" "We are not sure how much time you really have left." 

  We all look at each other. "You have two choices. Live out the rest of your life or." "Or what?" "We think we found a chemotherapy that might work for you." "Chemo?" So my choices are. Die from cancer, or just want to die? Seems like a win, win situation to me. "I'll give you sometime to think about it." This is just, fantastic. "So." "So what?" "What are you gonna do?" "I- I don't know." "Well you better decide. Your life is literally on the line." Great, more pressure. Sawyer came and visited me. "Gurl I swear if you die." "Sawyer, I'm not gonna die." Huge lie. "Good." "They gave me a choice. Live out my life, or take chemo." "Well duh." "What?" "Do chemo. Like come on it's the obvious choice." "Yeah but." "No buts. If you want to live a full life, at least stop acting like you're already dead." She stood up and walked out the door angrily.

  "What did I do?" "Sawyer doesn't handle change very well." "It is the obvious choice, why am I acting like it's not?" "I don't know. No one knows why anyone does anything." "It's like I have a brain but I don't even know what it's thinking about." "Then stop trying. Just close your eyes, and think about nothing." I did that. My mind was blank. It was almost like I had passed out again. I wasn't thinking about my life, or other people's lives. My mind was like a blank screen. I open my eyes when I feel something touch my lips. Seb had kissed me. It scared me, but not in a bad way. "Hey I'll be right back?" "Um okay?" He runs out of the hospital room. But on his way out he grabs his keys. About twenty minutes later he comes back. "I bring gifts." "Oh." "Your favorite food, from your favorite Italian restaurant." "Wow." "Just don't get anything on your gown. That would look weird."

  We both had fallen asleep after eating. The next morning the doctor came in. "Hello Julia. Have you made your decision?" "I have but can I have a mintier to talk to my." What do I call him? WHAT DO I CALL HIM!!?? "My boyfriend." "Oh course." The doctor walks out of the room. "Boyfriend? I don't recall asking you-." "I'm doing chemo." "What?" "I have everything. Why should I throw away everything, just because I don't want to be in a little pain?" "You told me that the pain you were in was the worst thing you've ever felt." "I was also like ten. I'm stronger now." "I'm sure you are, but you're also a person. People feel pain." "Yeah, I know." Seb started to cry. "What if, you go through all of this and it doesn't work?" "Then I die." "That's it? I wake up one day and your just gone?" "That's life! People die!" "And you're telling me this why?" "If you don't like it, then leave. It's my life, and I'm done letting people like you, control it! I am not a puppet, and you certainly aren't the puppet master. You said I was controlling, but right when I finally do something for myself, you become the controlling one." "You know what I'm gonna go. I'll see you tomorrow." "No Seb, don't come back. I'm over the drama you always bring to the table." "Don't do this Jules." "Goodbye." "Whatever." He walks out the door.