General Rubrics
• Plot 21/22.5
• Character 18/22.5
• Flow [Choice of words, Clarity and Engagement] 18.5/25
• The Grip Factor 13.5/15
• Title 5/5
• Cover 3.5 /5
• Blurb 3.5/5
• Total 83/100
Book Title: The Last Guardian: River's Shadow
Author: Nightfall_21
Reviewer: Rachel_MercuryHolmes
Plot 21/22.5
Your plot is original and interesting. The world you created was very neat and detailed, so full marks for your creativity! The story really matches your genre, ‘Fantasy’. This book is treasure to the right readers!
Character 18/22.5
There are a lot of characters in mentioned in this book which made me go dizzy for a bit. It’s very thoughtful of you to create a chapter including a neat list of characters and their positions, or else I’ll be so lost.
One big challenge for me is when reading the book at first, I couldn’t remember the names of the characters because their names are different and unique. For example, in the early chapters, I knew Rivule’s cousins were coming to visit her but I couldn’t remember their names. But it did not affect my understanding of the plot and therefore, it is excellent! I’ll get use to their names in the later chapters.
Your characters have strong individuality and personalities. I love that. You can recognise and guess their strength, weaknesses, likes and dislikes. Sometimes, we can relate to them.
Flow [Choice of words, Clarity and Engagement] 18.5/25
I know you wanted to explain in details but the explanation on the elementals were quite long. Most readers might not read those in first encounter but they might come back from later chapters to reference. This is my personal opinion and you do not need to change those ‘Credits+ Characters + Explanation’ chapter!
I would suggest you to use bold words to emphasis some unique names. Italics is great but you shouldn’t overuse it. You can use bold letters in your paragraphs too. For example, for a sentence or a long paragraph, you can use italics but when you are introducing a unique name/title like Coale, Guradian of the Sun, you can write them in bold to catch reader’s attention.
Readers’ engagement is pretty good. Another suggestion here is that it would be better if you could reply to readers’ comments. They are supporting you and you need to engage with them. When they will feel you value your readers, they will continue to support you!
The Grip Factor 13.5/15
The grip factor started on chapter 3-4 and it’s really good since the readers are started to get attached to the story quite early. All the initial chapters were supporting and providing information for the later chapters.
Title (5/5)
I loved your title. It’s fancy and interesting; definitely catching the attention of the readers! Full marks for this!
Cover (3.5/5)
Your cover’s colour theme choice is good. As the title suggests, you can see the waters and a mystical flying creature at once. I love the idea, I love the colour, I love the moon and the calm waters.
But you have only included your subtitle on your cover. I personally believe you ought to include your full title on your book cover. Also, your username is not clearly visible on it. You might wanna do something about this cover!
Blurb (3.5/5)
The blurb decides if your book will be sold out or not. I’ve seen your blurb and I’m not very happy with it.
The language sounds very casual. You may think it’s not a big problem but some readers will find this as amateur and not-so-serious work. It’s not fair but that’s what readers usually think!
It was a bit confusing to read and understand. The phrases like “Yeah, no.”, you might want to change these. Also, the pace is really fast.
Plus, you were cramming too much information here. I know as a writer, we want to share our potential readers what’s in our story and what’s exciting about this. But, we need to draw a line where we would stop giving out the information. Or else this will cost negative reactions from readers. Of course, there are some good blurb which displays a lot of information and yet interesting. You could try spacing the paragraphs correctly and edit it to look more attractive to read.
(Update blurb: So, I’ve read your new blurb. It’s a bit long but a lot better! Nice change! You’ll buy more readers with this blurb! So, I’ll give you 3.5 instead of 2!)
Total 83/100
Overall, it was an enjoyable read. The plot is original and the characters are interesting though there are many things I needed to learn about this new world you created. Consider using different bold and italics. Engage with your readers.
For the final tip, I would suggest you order some high quality graphics to match your amazing story! I’m sorry to admit these but readers are visual persons too!
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