The Carnation Review Shop

Shock Waves by @abbyapple9878

Reviewed by Eris_Harmonia1

Disclaimer: I am only one person. I guarantee you my opinion will not be the same as someone else's and that's 100% ok. I am never trying to offend or discourage anyone. My only goal is to help you improve your story as best I can.🖤

~Eris🥀

Shock Waves
abbyapple9878

🥀Description 10/10
The description is exactly the type of introduction every book should have. It's simple, straight to the point, and teases the reader with just enough information to want to keep reading without giving away the entire plot of the book. Great work.

🥀Plot/Storyline 14/20
While I absolutely adore the storyline of this book so far, I noticed the start of the book was really slow. Things really start getting interesting at the very end of the first chapter, but up until then there's no indication that this is a science fiction novel. It gives off more of a "typical teen fiction vibe" if you will. I really would've liked to see some indication of Mia's powers sooner in the first chapter as to create more suspense for what's to come.

Here are a few key points where while reading I was on the edge of my seat itching for a "spark". I feel these areas would be perfect places to add a touch of suspense.
*When Mia is angered by Blake early on.
*When Mia is confronted by Paige and Anna about her mother.
*When Mia is on the bleachers (Before Blake arrives)

My ONLY suggestion plot wise is that Mia's powers have more of a build up early on, to really give the book that wow factor and get the reader hooked onto the story. Other than that, everything is great.

🥀Dialogue 10/10
Almost immediately into reading, the extensive use of dialogue allows the reader to really see into the dynamic of Mia and Tori's typical sibling relationship. The dialogue is definitely one of the book's strongest points overall. It's detailed and thorough and really draws you into the story. Excellent work!

🥀Character Depth 17/20
Even though I'm only five chapters in, many characters (notably Mia and Blake) are on their way to becoming 3 dimensional. They both have so much potential and growing room as people. One thing I would keep in mind though, is that as loveable as they may be, perfect characters are boring. Go beyond stereotypes. Remember not just faults alone make a character relatable, but contradictions as well.

🥀Grammar 7/10
There are little to no spelling errors! The only downside "grammar" wise is that there are a couple instances where the text in one paragraph will be very counterintuitive to what was stated a few paragraphs prior. For example, in chapter 1:

In the first section Mia says she loves her new room, and up until this point Mia didn't seem to have a negative outlook on the new house or the moving situation. Yet, in the second section the text implies that Mia isn't enjoying any of it and is simply putting on an act.

Again later in Chapter 1:

In this example, Blake makes it blatantly clear that he thinks Mia is hot in the first section. Yet in the second section he completely denies the fact… even though he just said it.

Although these are super small "errors" I immediately found myself confused and distracted from the story while encountering them. I'd have to go back and reread to make sure I wasn't missing anything… However if these points were intentional, I would suggest emphasizing the latter point in the first section to make the intent more clear. I found that this ordeal often stole the limelight from the natural flow of the story. Aside from these chapter 1 issues though, there are no other grammatical errors.

🥀Originality 9/10
First and foremost, I really love that this book is written in the 3rd person. Not a lot of Wattpad writers (At least not in books I read) use this format and it is very refreshing to read a book written in this style.

Although the teen superhero idea is nothing new, the plot and characters in this story are clearly original and it really makes this book stand out from others with a similar concept.

🥀Personal Enjoyment 17/20
I really enjoyed reading this book! It's definitely earned a spot in my personal library and is totally something I'd read more of in my free time.

🥀Overall 84/100
Overall, this is a really good book. It's well written, the plot is interesting, the dialogue is great, and most importantly the characters are fun and likeable. Although it had a slow start, as the book progressed I found it harder and harder to stop reading. I'm really interested to see where the book will go in later chapters and how the story will progress.

Reviewer Note: I tried my best to be as honest and informative as possible, and explain my scoring as best I could. abbyapple9878 If you have any questions, or wish for me to elaborate further on any category. Please feel free to PM me personally.  Eris_Harmonia1

Best of luck on your writing journey!

~Eris🥀