The Carnation Review Shop

The Dating Proposal. By @imaginator33

DISCLAIMER: The way I judge and see things will definitely be different from others. I am not trying to discourage you but to help you achieve your goal.

REVIEWED BY: Cxptured_heart

The Dating Proposal. By imaginator33

TITLE: 5/5

COVER: 4/5

The cover is beautiful but the title isn't really visible. If you need somewhere to get a new cover from, you could visit The Carnation Graphic Shop. 

SUMMARY: 10/10

It was simple but intriguing. Nice job.  

CHAPTER ONE: 4/5

I love the way you started the book and how it is going so far, very interesting and descriptive. But I noticed you didn't add commas in places where you should have. Like here, you wrote >>"Come on at least you got a role as her sister." Kenna said... << instead of >>"Come on, at least you got a role as her sister," Kenna said...<< And so on. 

Here, you wrote >> "Shut up Ace." She cut him off...<<, instead of >>Shut up, Ace," she cut him off...<<. Knowing when to put a full stop (period) or a comma before the closing quotation mark and when to capitalise the first word after the closing quotation mark is very important, and I see you are having trouble with that.

I also noticed a little misspelt words, like 'Keena', instead of 'Kenna'. I believe reading your chapters out loud would help notice mistakes like that. I advise you to get an app that can read out your chapters to you. This has helped me a lot. You know, no one is perfect and that's why we're here to support each other. 

Aside from what I have stated above, I have also noticed that your story is going to be amazing! I am seriously intrigued. I cannot believe a first chapter could be this short, interesting, straightforward and amazing! I cannot wait to dive into chapter two. Great job. 

CHAPTER TWO: 4/5

This is just a personal preference, but I think adding a photo in the middle of a book makes it childish and unprofessional. Ninety eight percent of readers would prefer a well described image to an actual picture of that image because describing gives the readers a better picture of it in their heads, and the photo you posted might be different from the one in their heads. In my opinion, you either add the photo at the beginning or in the photo/gif box or after the last sentence for that chapter. Again, this is just a personal suggestion, you don't have to take it if you don't like it. 

Here, you wrote >>Ace smiled bending down to hug the woman since he was 6'2 and she was barely 5'5<< instead of >>Ace smiled, bending down to hug the woman since he was six feet and two inches and she was barely five feet and five inches<<. It is always better to write in words than figures. 

Here, you wrote >>Mr. Winston said while standing in front of the heir to his company and grandson<< Instead of >>Mr. Winston said, while standing in front of his grandson, the heir to his company<<. The way you wrote it got me confused at first. I thought his grandson and the heir to his company were two different people. 

Here, you wrote >>Do aunts not know when to talk?<< instead of >>Do aunts know when to talk?<< The 'not' wasn't needed. 

Here, you wrote >>It alright<< instead of >>It's alright<<. I'm sorry for correcting some errors in the comment section of your book. I noticed it would be hard for me to point it out here and I really wanted you to see them.