I'm Unwanted

Chapter Fifteen

(Edited)

"So, tell me why you were put up for adoption." Tyler says.

"It was a drunk mistake. They weren't ready for kids. I went to my parents friends, just until they were ready for kids. But my adoptive parents didn't want to give me back." I say as I run my hand over my sore scabs on the palm of my hand. "Frank and Amanda weren't very nice. But I mean, they were drug lords so..." I trail off as I look at my scabbed hands.

"Can I see your back?"

I laugh nervously as I scoot back a tiny bit.

"No."

"Why?" Tyler asks.

"Because it's scarred. I don't let anyone see it."

Tyler shifts on the couch.

"Just a peek?"

"No!"

Not only is my back super duper scarred, but it's also got fresh cuts from my mom. And I'm really scared what she carved.

"Do I need to call cps Rae?"

"No, that's not necessary."

"Really? Because even time you come over, or go to school, you gave new cuts and scraps."

"I'm clumsy." I say as I get up and start pacing.

"I just want you to be safe Rae."

My heart pings. And not because Tyler wants me to be safe. But because I want to be safe too. I never have the feeling of safety. I don't know what it feels like. Just like being loved. I have no idea what it feels like to be loved and wanted.

"I know." I say quietly.

I grab my backpack and go to Tyler's room. And change into pjs.

Then I climb in his bed and try to sleep. But obviously sleep doesn't come to me. It rarely does these days.

...

I'm still not able to fall asleep. My back hurts like hell, and I'm pretty sure it's bleeding. And combine that with the realization the literally no one wants me. It makes for one hell of a mood.

I groan as I get out of bed and go to Tyler's bathroom. Trying not to wake his sleeping figure, that joined me in his bed sometime.

I lift my shirt up, and look in the mirror, yep, bleeding.

"Holy fucking shit!"

I drop my shirt, and spin around and see Tyler standing by the door.

How did I not see him there in the mirror, or how did I not hear him?

"Show me your back again!"

I flinch at how angry Tyler sounds.

"No thank you Ty." I say as I go to grab my backpack, which has my wrap in it.

"Hold the fuck up, and show me your back." Tyler says with a scary low tone.

On instinct I take a step back.

"Tyler, you're being dramatic. You didn't see anything." I say. But it's clear you can hear the panic in my voice.

"Raven, I will pin you the fuck down and rip your shirt off if you don't do it willingly."

Don't cry! Don't cry! Don't cry!

I take another step back.

"Why do you care? It's not like my parents are abusive." I snap out sarcastically.

"Raven, don't fuck with me." Tyler growls.

"Tyler, it's no big deal."

"It's a fucking big deal Rae!"

I take another small step backwards.

"I know it is ok? I know it's a problem. But there's a reason I go through all this shit Ty."

"Show me your back." Tyler grits through his teeth.

I take a deep breath.

"I'm not doing that Tyler."

Tyler takes a step forward, so I take a step back, only to find I'm already pressed up against the bathroom wall.

"Look, its late and all. Can we just put this aside and pick it up tomorrow?"

"Raven, I'm not letting this go."

I huff and cross my arms.

"I don't need to be treated like I'm weak! I know my situation is bad, and as soon as I get enough money, I'm outta here! I don't nee help Tyler! All I need is some place to stay, and if you want to ask questions, I'm going to the fucking homeless shelter!"

Tyler exhales heavily as he runs a hand through his messy hair.

"Raven, you don't get it. You don't value yourself enough to take care of yourself. You don't know how to ask for help. And you think showing emotions makes you weak."

"It does." I cut in. "And you wouldn't know like I do. All my fucking life I haven't found a single fucking reason to stay. No one needs me. No one cares. I'm unwanted. And that's just my fucked up life! I can't go around crying about everything!"

"Raven..."

"That's it! I'm done!" I yell.

I have no idea what I'm doing. But I know I can't stay here the rest of the night. I'm a big ball of emotions and it's all going to shatter. And I'm going to have a full blown breakdown. I'd like to avoid that if possible.

But as I try to push past Tyler, he grabs on to me, and pulls me against his chest.

"Raven, calm down. I'll let it go for now, ok? Just don't leave." Tyler mumbles into my hair.

"Tyler let me go! I don't want to stay here anymore!"

"But if I let you go, you're going to end up dead! And it will be on me! I don't care if you fucking hate me, I'm not letting you leave, until you value your life."

I shrug out of Tyler's hold.

"Then that's basically kidnapping me. Making me stay here against my own free will. You can't do that."

"I can do whatever I fucking want, when your life is on the line."

"But if you liked me, you'd let me go." I say as I step away from him.

"It's because I like, and care about you, that I'm making you stay."