Pain With Regrets *complete*

ch twenty seven

AUTHOR'S P.O.V

"sorry"          beam said which was clearly heard by forth ... his lips even brushed the hard chest of forth ....

but not even a second took for forth to stood up and leave the room ..

but his heart betrayed his legs and get stop at the end of the door when he felt his leg is grabbed by someone ......

as beam saw forth leaving he quickly rushed to him and grabbed his leg , forth who was standing with lost eyes  and within no time beam brusted into tears again .. he was pouring his heart out ..

he knows it's his last chance to say sorry which he should have said a year ago ..

he cried while holding forth's right leg ..

*sob*

*sob*

*sob*

forth can't see beam like this . he wanted to become bad  , to be angry on beam but he couldn't ..

he also bend down and hugged the crying person in his arms again ...

to forth , beam looked like a soft teddy bear who was hurted so badly..

he tightened his arms on beam trying to collect every shattered pieces of him...

beam let go forth's leg and put his hands between their bodies and felt forth's rapid heartbeat which is same like his .....

"forth i know *sob* i don't deserve a chance and i am not asking for it *sob* but i want to say this ... i want to say sorry "    beam managed to speak these words between his sobs ....

"i don't know will you   *sob*  ever forgive me but still i want you is you accept my apology...*tsk*  *sob*  see how mean i am , even hurthing you so much all i am doing is askinbg you is "WANT"  ... but  this is the last time i am asking you something forth i promise ...

 you know when i first land here all i  wanted to *sob* to make you mine  and never let you go again . and  believe me i tried but from whom , sam .. he is sam .. and i am a dirty beam .. he is an angel indeed but i am a devil .. you was right he makes you happy but i only hurts you .. he rebuilds you but i broke you . he brings light to you and i am always with darkness . he give you respect but i humilated you ...  he made you his king but i made you my slave ...

beam stopped talking for a while 'cause he could feel his body giving up .. he felt that now he could die as a big weight is lifted from his shoulders ... if not the protective and warm arms of forth's wasn't holding him he would have passed now ....

beam closed his eyes and starts to take deep breadths and after few seconds he compossed himself . he looked up to look into forth's eyes ..

who was looking in his eyes deeply .. a good minute passed   while they were looking in each others eyes  and it was clear that no one wants to back out ...

but forth did ..

he unwraped his right hand and touched beam's right cheek .. he caressed his cheek.

beam who felt those warm touch after a long time get melted in those hands of forth's ... 

he felt touched ..

he felt loved ..

forth again locked his eyes with beam's and his very painful yet desperate voice  escaped from his lips ..

"please say it "   forth asked ...

Beam didn't understand what forth meant

it took time for beam to understand but his understood that unspoken question of forth's 'please say it' and he wants to answer ..

like last time, this time he don't want his stupid mouth to destroys everything or maybe  just this moment again ...  he wants to tell words which he always mumbbled in forth's absence  and why not , it true after all...

"I LOVE YOU FORTH"    there he said it .. bulsh came automatically on his cheeks but forth ..

forth brokes into tears ... he again hugged beam tightly . but beam can tell it's not those happy tears but emotions ... those emotions which came out as tears which forth wanted to shead when beam rejected him ..

these are the screams which forth surpress  when those students were talking about him .. these are the frustration on which forth kept quite .....

don't know what but beam felt to say it again ..

"i love you forth , my love"  

"why"  forth asked , his voice clearly says that 'beam i am hurt' 

"why now beam , after you told me that you have made a girlfriend  and then you and that girl in the university's bathroom  and i asked myself was  'why, why not me '  'it was me who loved you then why not me '  it was me cared for you then why not me' it was me who was with you in your darkness then why not me '"                    he said but this really broke something in beam's heart which was already broken 

"beam please say it again please say it again .. please i beg you beam please "        this much begs from forth just to listen those words again was breaking beam to the verge of never returning back ..

it was the first time when forth told him about his behaviour towards forth . but it's not the time to think about it . he himself knows how bad he was...

"forth , honey , my love , i love you now and for forever .. i loved you back too but it was too late to realise it .. i know i am late but forth , my love , i love you"           beam poured his whole heart to confess his feelings ..

"me too , i love you too beam , my beam and only mine . i never stopped loving you .. i tried to forget you baby beamie but i can't baby .. it's so much difficult and painful .. i love you so much , just you beam , my love "                                        forth confessed his feelings too ..

as soon as forth completed his confession he smashed his lips to beam's ..he could feel his and beam's longiness for this ...

he kissed beam hungerily .. with the same force beam replied back ... he love these chaste lips of forth .. forth squeezed beams cheeks making him pout and then pulled beam's whole pout in his mouth ..  he wants to suck the soul out of beam right now .. he nibbled beam's lips like a hunter waiting for his prey .. he sucked beam like a baby .. slowly his lips travelled from beam's lips to his neck and his hands starts to unbotton beam's shirt ..

first , second , third , forth , fifth and sixth he opened all the buttons slowly .. but not wanting beam to remove his hands from his hairs he tore the shirt and made beam half naked  infront of him ...

beam smiled at forth's action and started tracing forth's chest .....

forth laid beam on the floor and  started sucking his collor bone and started leaving his marks on beam .. beam was trying to control his  moans but he lost it when forth attacked his nipples ..

forth sucked beam's right nipple and twisted the left one from his fingers and a moan escaped from beam  

 "aanhh"

it was soft and full of pleasure moan  but

but 

as soon it went into forths ears , he came back into his senses and saw what's he doing .. he quickly stopped his actions and stood straight ...

beam looked at forth in confussion , but forth took a step back , he bowed his head  and then left his beam for forever after saying ..

"sam don't deserve this , he deserve happiness , i can't do this , i am sorry but i can't "

and left with his teary eyes which he didn't hide from beam 

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what a chapter dam ..

so long ..

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