Lovely Dark Things

TWO (RUBY POV)

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." My mind seems unable to think of some different words while we walk through the corridors and rooms of the fortress that aren't cold or dark anymore, not only thanks to the inventions of my precious human, but because the Queen has ordered to light extra candles and torches to greet us. Salves have worked really hard cleaning tapestries, washing the floor and polishing bronze chandeliers and Baalberith looks splendid like it was long time ago. Courtiers line both sides of the big halls and remain respectfully silent while we walk past them, wearing their fanciest clothes, my father's soldiers are wearing their best uniforms and the Brides of the God of War have polished their weapons that shine under the torches light.

"Ruby..." Iselen whispers scared and moves one step closer, her hand grazes mine seeking reassurance and I decide to put my arm around her waist. Some noble women whisper perplexed because they know this movement would stop me from grabbing my swords quickly in case I needed to defend myself, no assassin would lower their guard in order to protect an insignificant human but I don't care about what they think. I couldn't fight them all if they'd decided to attack us at the same time and I'd rather keep my girl close to me to feel confident too.

To be honest, love sucks... and it's wonderful. Sometimes, during the last 10 years, I wished I didn't meet Iselen, falling in love with her, I wished I didn't kill my brother to protect her, I only wanted to get rid of all those lovely dark things that I felt in my chest and turned me weak, things that took me away from my race, my clan, my ambition and everything that used to matter for me in my life. But then, the human kissed me, made my favourite dish for dinner, smiled at me and I felt strong and invincible again. It's ridiculous and I still don't understand how it actually works, how that tingling in my belly can make my legs shake weakly but at the same time I feel I can fight a dragon for her.

I think Iselen noticed my confusion and tried to make things easier for me, letting me deal with my feelings and reflect on them calmly, she's never put pressure on me to talk about them out loud if I didn't feel ready to do it, she hasn't clung on me seeking reassurance even if sometimes I noticed she was feeling insecure and needed some kind of gesture to feel fine again. My brain reacted automatically before I realized what was actually happening, hugging her, kissing her and whispering sweet nothings in her ear till she got relaxed meekly against my body. I understood that I should trust my instinct and stop fighting my heart, I just got carried away instead of trying to keep control all the time and, suddenly, everything was easier. I was happy with my human finally...

Till Sryne arrived and ruined it all. I don't understand what's going on here and don't like that at all because I can't protect my woman if I don't have enough information. I didn't care about that before, when I was a young assassin enjoying the danger and adrenalin, jumping right into complicated situations was great fun but now there's another person I have to think of, this isn't about what I want or need, Iselen's opinion matters to me. Love sucks, I wish I could get rid of these feelings and go back to the way I was... But it's also amazing and my girl's perfume, the heat of her body against my side, they soothe me and keep me sane. I'll keep Iselen alive even if I have to slit the throats of all the dark elves in the world and I'll cover this frozen land with their blood.

Luckily, it won't be necessary, I think. For some strange reason, they all seem determined to make us happy giving us everything we could wish for. This was the best boat ride of my life, I've sailed through the outer ocean on all kinds of elven ships under all possible circumstances but never in the fanciest cabin the Black Guard can offer, it's usually my father the one who sleeps in that bed enjoying soft silk sheets and fresh fruits for lunch, he drinks the best wine and the blankets are made with the finest wolf fur. But the Captain has never got such a welcome reception when he comes back home, not even after a great victory with his army, with all the nobles bowing their heads respectfully and the best Brides of the God of War to protect him, ready to fight for him. I guess the Queen has told them to do it in order to make us feel better but the situation is so weird that gets the opposite effect and it's giving me the creeps although I'm happy to be back home feeling the cold wind on my face.