Reading Between The Lines ~ Remus Lupin ~ Book 1

chapter 30

Thursday, 10 February 1977

Considering Remus had a magical map that could track anyone on the Hogwarts grounds, Lena was doing a rather good job at avoiding him. She barely spent any time out of her room unless she had to. If she saw Remus in the corridors between classes, she would quickly make up an excuse to leave or pretend someone was waving her over.

She wasn't angry with Remus. She never was. But she was confused about what the pen meant and how she felt. And Lena was too nervous to speak to him while she was confused and stressed. She could easily see herself blurting out all of her feelings to him and freak him out with her rambling. And she knew Remus would be nice about it and let her down easily. He was always nice. But Lena was prepared to get her feelings hurt quite yet. And until she knew she could act like a somewhat normal person around Remus, she knew could not be around him.

And even though she knew it was best to not be around him while she worked out her feelings, she missed him. She missed him more than she would care to admit, mainly because she doubted that Remus missed her as much as she missed him. Even though the pen was the source of her confusion, it was a source of comfort. She liked using it to hear his voice. She felt a bit silly that his voice could ease her so much, even if he was related to the cause of her confusion.

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Remus was alway impressed by Lena, even when she was avoiding him. Ever since they had spoken to each other on Monday and he had given her the pen, Lena had been avoiding him, which was rather impressive considering he was in possession of Marauder's Map.

Maybe the pen and its purpose offended her. Remus knew that she didn't need it to read. She could read, it just took her longer than others to do. The pen was meant to help her when she didn't have much time. It was a way for a part of him to be there for her even when he wasn't with her physically. I probably explained it so poorly that she thinks that I think she can't read.

Remus knew how self-conscious Lena felt about her dyslexia and how she hated the misconceived notions and ideas people had about people with dyslexia— that they were less intelligent than those without it and that to have dyslexia was to have a disease.

Remus knew how she felt. I know what it's like to be self-conscious about something I can't change about myself. I know what it's like to be someone affected by widely accepted misconceived notions. Though, mine aren't all misconceived.

Remus hated the idea that he could be the one to offend Lena and cause her pain.

Remus missed being around her too. He missed her soothing presence. He missed her laugh and how she made him laugh. He missed hearing about her thoughts. He just missed her.

His friends could tell he was upset about not seeing her. He wasn't as happy as usual and he was distracted. He had told James and Sirius what was wrong, that Lena was avoiding him. Peter was worried about him too but Remus knew he couldn't tell him what was actually bothering him. As good of a friend as Peter was, Remus knew Peter would not be thrilled that Remus fancied his sister.

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Saturday, 12 February 1977

Remus groaned as he opened his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," Sirius teased. "It's eleven in the morning."

Remus sighed and opened the drawer to his nightstand. He pulled out a bar of chocolate and began to nibble on it. Moping about Lena and eating chocolate in bed seemed like a good way to spend his Saturday.